Called to Create

2010-06-28T00:37:00.001-05:00

Connor just returned from his last ever Boy Scout trip last evening. Because he'll turn eighteen next month, he'll age out of enrollment for the program. While it's bittersweet, I'm very glad for his opportunity to participate in many adventures and volunteer efforts. It's been a rewarding experience.

This last week, Connor and his troop camped out at the Buffalo Trails Scout Resort in Midland, Texas. It's about twelve hours away from home. While there, he earned Merit Badges for Repelling, Archery, Mile Swim and Basketry. He also performed a service project with other Scouts and welded an iron enclosure for their recyclable paper products. Here are some photos from the week. Enjoy!!

Group Photo

Overview of Camp Site

Tents

More Tents

A camp site only a boy could love....!

85ft mountain .... you can see Scouts above and below preparing to repel

Connor beginning his descent

Connor repelling face first....! Probally something I would have done,
but I'm still glad I was not there to watch!!!

Scout Service Project

They welded this structure from steel and built the gate too.

The Camp Site will use it to hold their recyclable material.

Connor's Basket ... upside down in this photo, but still cool!

2010-04-22T21:35:00.001-05:00

We're in the process of transforming our garage into an art studio. Yay! One step in making the plan a reality has been to create some storage space for our regular 'garage type stuff', and I enlisted Connor along with his best friend, Jimmy, to do the job. I gave them a loose idea of what I wanted, and how I wanted to use the units. Here's a quick video of what they did. I'm so proud!

The cabinet on the far left is a bit shorter in this clip, because they had not yet added the caster wheels I asked for. They're on now, and that particular shelf is even with the others and home to my Miter saw. It houses other types of saws below too. It can roll freely and be locked in to place. At one point, Jimmy locked it into place across from one of the other shelving units to create a type of sawhorse. Loved that idea!! Very cool. There is also one other cabinet on the far right, more of a large bin, which holds/hides a lot of our lawn equipment.

I hadn't seen their progress in the garage for a little while before they finished. So, when Connor came to get me for the 'big reveal' he said it was like an episode of 'Extreme Makeover - Home Edition'. There's no doubt that I was every bit excited as someone from their show. Way too much fun!!!

Their work has enabled me to get this space highly organized, and create more of a studio/classroom environment. I have a pottery wheel and kiln which we'll get back into action soon too! And, when we're not using the ping-pong table for ping-pong, it doubles for a great art table. Perfect!

Thank you so much guys!! Love you both. ;-)

2010-01-11T00:53:00.001-06:00

Happy New Year ...!

I hope you all are doing wonderfully, and greatly blessed. I want to thank everyone SO MUCH for praying for my family and me over the last two months, especially. We went through, and are still overcoming, a very difficult period of family woes ... mostly due to our blended bunch. But, through prayer, YOUR prayers, we are seeing the victory in Christ. And, I can't help but profusely thank you for pouring into our lives in such a great and mighty way. Thank you, truly, for your time and commitment to bring us before the Throne of Glory. We are grateful.

I wanted to share a few things with you. One of which is this amazing book that I'm currently reading entitled, Do Hard Things, by Alex and Brett Harris. It is a wonderful read, and while specifically aimed at teenagers, I can't think of any people group who would not benefit from this duo's godly wisdom. As the title suggests, it's about doing hard things, turning our mindsets and heart sets to God, and fully surrendering to the difficult but rewarding things He'd have us do. One of the things they write about is the Myth of Adolescence, in which they discuss the fact that there is no biblical reference to teenagers. You are either a child or an adult. God has given us a natural desire to transition from youth to adult, without teenage pause, to accomplish great things in His name. It wasn't until the early 1900's that teenagers were even invented, and thus ushering in generations of 'kidults' who dream big, but have either too few skills or too little ambition to accomplish big things. I too, unfortunately, can see myself in these pages ... rising to low expectations and then never soaring beyond. I fully intend to break through this barrier, and to never allow such a foothold to exist in my own children's lives. I can't encourage you enough to check this book out. You'll be enlightened, encouraged, and changed for the better!

Also, I recently came across this site: YouVersion.com. It's a site dedicated to reading through the Bible in a set amount of time. You can choose to read cover to cover, chronologically, biographically or with a set purpose in mind, such as outreach. There are support systems, accountability groups, and tracking tools to measure your progress. Sam and I have committed to a 90 day reading plan. I'm currently on Day Six and have read 6.7% in cover-to-cover order. Already, I feel my spirit being renewed and am thankful for God's washing my mind with His Word. I can think of no better way to spend my time!

Hoping you'll give it a go! ;-)

2009-12-25T18:07:00.001-06:00

Our friends, David and Tina Chapek, gave our family this calendar. Elijah took hold of it and scheduled play dates for himself with his brother and several of his friends. Check this out! Is this not the cutest thing ever? Another keeper, for sure. ;-)

Thank you guys!!

2009-12-21T18:21:00.000-06:00

Connor's Christmas - 2009 from Monica Chadwell on Vimeo.

Though Christmas is still four days away we celebrated a bit early at the Chadwell House to present Connor with an early, and very special, Christmas present! He left for Missouri this afternoon to spend the holiday with his grandparents, on his Daddy's side. It's hard to believe that his Daddy passed away almost five years ago. That being the case, I know that they especially savor these special moments with his only son.

I hope you'll enjoy sharing this sweet memory with us. ;-)

2009-12-04T20:54:00.000-06:00

Elijah just drew his picture of Jesus on the cross. He did this all on his own and out of the blue.

It makes my heart sing that our Savior is on his mind during this Christmas season. We talked about his art afterward, and he said he drew Jesus because he IS the reason for this Christmas holiday. I don't know how to articulate the joy this brings me. Knowing that my children are walking in the truth is incomparable to any other happiness. Bliss!!

2009-10-21T17:49:00.000-05:00

Elijah drew this for me today. It is SO cute, and such a keeper. This one is going in a frame!!! It's a portrait of he and I. He's in blue, and I'm in pink ... with blue cowboy pants. Go figure, on that one! I have never owned a set of cowboy pants, but his imagination blessed me beyond words. I love my sweet boy!

2009-09-15T17:04:00.000-05:00

Here's a painting I just completed for Connor's Youth Pastor, John, and his wife, Stephanie. They are expecting the birth of their first child, Julia, possibly as early as tonight!!! They are a wonderful couple, made even more beautiful by the Joy of the Lord, and it's our honor to help them celebrate this happy occasion!

Congratulations John & Stephanie!!!

2009-09-13T09:47:00.001-05:00

It's been three weeks since MAFA began. Wow! Where does the time go?

I guess it truly does fly when you're having fun!

Below is an original 5th century mosaic from Ephesus' Curetes Street. For our first project, I chose the symbolic Winged Figure of Victory which by the 5th century came to represent Christ and His victory over death.

This is a compilation image of my students' artwork and their attempt to recreate the Winged Figure of Victory. My students range from Primary to Fifth Grade. I thought they did a fantastic job, don't you?

2009-08-26T05:20:00.006-05:00

It's here! It's here! Ah, yes ... it's THAT time of year again. The Master's Academy of Fine Arts (MAFA), Lake Jackson, will open its doors for a second year, tomorrow! We all, Directors, Teachers and Teachers' Assistants have worked ourselves delirious while preparing for this momentous occasion. Yay!!!! Can you tell that I'm excited?

MAFA is, yet, another lavishly gracious answer to a long standing prayer. You see, I've been an artist for as long as I can literally remember, and certainly since I could hold any kind of implement. I have continually recognized my ability as a gift from God, and have longingly desired to use it solely for His glory. But, I've struggled in knowing just how to do so. For years, I have offered countless prayers to my Father's ears asking, "What would You have me do?"

I'm quite certain that God has been answering those prayers all along, but not until February of last year did I finally have the courage to take hold of 'the future and the hope' that God had set before me. - Jeremiah 29:11. At, 39, I've come to a sort vantage point, and looking back with hind sight at 20/20, I can clearly see that He's been diligent to carefully plot stepping stones of experience, joy, discipline and growth in my life and walk with Him. It's certain that He has been 'a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.' - Psalm 119:105.

So, of course, you can guess that MAFA happened last February. That's when I first heard the plan, through human intercession, that God had set in motion 'before one of my days ever came to be' - Psalm 139:16. I had quite literally been prepared 'for such a time as this' - Esther 4:14, to teach at this amazing Christ centered school, educating children not only in art, but more specifically about God, why God loves art, how He uses art, and how we can glorify Him through it too.

In MAFA, God has 'worked everything together for good' - Romans 8:28, and has shown me how I can glorify Him in my every day, waking up, lying down and walking around life. He has made the ordinary, extraordinary. And, tomorrow, I'll greet the day along many, many precious children and teach them about God's plan for their own lives. Of course, I will pray that they see their paths lit long before I saw my own, and that they'll be lighting this world a storm as God's own 'brightly lit City on a Hill.' - Matthew 5:14.

I can hardly wait!

This is a work that I completed a while ago, but only recently had digitized.

This is a recent commission that I completed for my parents. My Mom gave it to my Dad in honor of their 46th Wedding Anniversary. Yay!!!

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!!!

2009-08-22T11:24:00.009-05:00

I just became aware of something that has me incredibly upset. Yesterday, President Obama gave a celebratory address, on behalf of the American people, to the international Arab community with regard to the Muslim holiday of Ramadan. My problem with this is not with the Arab or Muslim people, but with the President's sweeping assumption that all of America wishes to join in with his glee. Make no mistake. America was founded as a Christian Nation. I am a Christian woman, a patriot, and am deeply offended by this statement. This past April would have been an appropriate time for President Obama to issue a similar address with regard to Christ's resurrection, and the salvation we have through Him. Instead, He chose the greatest day of our history, the day our salvation became real through Christ, and chose to declare that America is no longer a Christian nation. His two contrasting discourses on the lauding of Ramadan, and the disposing of Christianity make crystal clear to any true Believer that Obama's confession of Christ is hollow.

Check it out and compare for yourself.

Obama's 2009 Ramadan Address

Obama in Turkey - Easter Day 2009

Obama - June 2007 Address

~ No Longer a Christian Nation ~

I apologize in advance if my remarks seem extreme, but I am horribly, horribly offended by this. I pray that God will grant the people of this Nation 'eyes to see and ears to hear' the good news of Truth. Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to Him. If I appear intolerant, yes, I am. I'm intolerant of deceptive lies that lead only to a path of destruction, and eternal separation from the God who loves us all.

John 1:1 reads, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." That Word is Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 3:15-17 reads, "...the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." John 3:16 tells us, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." This verse, probably one of the most well known, clearly reveals that God loves all who believe in Him. Psalm 103:17 says, "But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him...".

God loves all of His creation, and has been explicitly clear in His Word not only that He loves us, but that He Himself is the divine author of His Word, the Holy Bible, and that through it (Him), Christ Jesus, are we saved. Yes, it is intolerant of all other faiths. But, that's the point. God has told us 'the way' to Him. Notice the singular inference. Oleta Adams may sing, "I don't care how you get here, just get here if you can." But, God sings a different tune. He puts a new song in our mouths, "He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD." - Psalm 40:3.

Matthew 13:14-16

"In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: 'You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.' But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear."

My prayer is that we all will have eyes to see and ears to hear.

May God's peace be with you.

2 Chronicles 7:14

"If My people, who are called by My name, shall humble themselves, pray, seek, crave, and require of necessity My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land."

2009-07-16T00:13:00.005-05:00

Something fantastic has happened.

God's timing, can to us seem a strange thing. We might pray a prayer a thousand times before we hear a yes, a no, or a simple be patient. And, sometimes, we might have waited so long for a thing that when the answer does come, it has nearly turned into an unexpected delight. This just happened to me ... for me. Wow!

So, what was my prayer? To know God's will, of course. It's the question that lies on the tips of so many tongues, 'Why am I here?' What is God's will for my life? And, even if I think I know, how can I be certain? John 10:4 says, 'His sheep follow Him because they Know His voice.' Seems pretty simple that our assurance of a thing can be made firm with a single word from His lips. But, it's true. A simple word, spoken quietly to a heart can resonate like a thousand drums. I guess you could say that they are the drum-roll of an adventurous life.

Nearly four years ago, I began my participation in a precious women's Bible study group. For the most part, its been the same women ... sometimes we number near 20. Other times, we contract to eight or ten. But, we're the steady core. I have grown to love these women dearly. There is something magnificent about discovering God's word together. Hearts are knit and permanently woven, one into the other.

I'd have to say that at about three-and-a-half years ago, during our study and while listening to a video lecture from one of my favorite Bible teachers, I received a word from Him. He spoke to my heart, and with a warm inner-embrace and gentle urging He said, 'that's for you.' What He meant was, that I'd someday be teaching His Word and encouraging others in their walks with Him. Of course, I marveled at the thought and was immediately thrilled. I couldn't wait to get started, and quite honestly I probably, (make that - absolutely), pushed myself ahead of His timeline. We have a way of doing that, huh? I can only imagine that I turned some blessings into ashes, for rushing His perfect will. But, alas, I learned to wait and pray with perseverance.

Since then, I've tried to bloom where planted. Of course, I'm an artist. Among other things, that's what He made me to be. But, He's also made me an evangelist, a teller of His Word. Honestly, there is nothing more exciting than to tell of His great love. So, in this long, long wait ... I'd be less than honest if I said that I didn't sometimes wonder if I misheard Him.. Did I really hear from ... Him, and did He really speak? The answer now, a definite Yes!

This past Sunday He gave me 'the nod.' He said Yes! And, with the yes came a How! Oh, how precious!!! I'm thrilled. It's fabulous when the confirmation comes with direction. He gave me a study! One to explore, one to write, one to be thrilled with, by, and through. I'm about to head on a new journey, one with a lot of unknowns, but for sure, a lot of mountain high peaks. So, with that, I'm off to the races.

With quite a lot on my plate, but everything that He ordained, I'm bowing to His will and experiencing His good pleasure. Praise Him!

It's good to be in the presence of the King. ;-)

2009-07-11T23:44:00.003-05:00

I love this family

We went bowling tonight with a bunch of our friends, and had a lot of fun! While wrapping up our time at the alley, I thought to snap a few shots of Connor with his very best friend, Jimmy, his sister, Kayla, and younger brother, Jeffrey. Elijah had to get in on the action too! We all spend so much time together, that we each feel like extended family. I love these kids, and they all love the Lord. The joy on each of their faces reflect that fact. They all are a source of great joy and delight ... my heart sings even now as I write this. Simply precious! ;-)

Connor and Jimmy ... Inseparable!

Connor, Kayla and Jimmy

This darling girl is wise well beyond her years. I know plenty of grown adults, seasoned in the Lord, who learn much from this precious young woman. I adore her beyond words. She doesn't fall far from the tree. Her sweet mother, whom I cherish, is one of the most genuine and godly saints I know. Her steady example of humility, faith, tenderness and joy remain a continuous source of inspiration. She daily pours herself into her children, and they have created a 'living letter' testimony of what a family completely surrendered to the Lord can become.

2 Corinthians 3:2-3
"You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts."

Jeffrey, Jimmy, Kayla, Elijah and Connor

Love 'em

2009-07-11T16:33:00.012-05:00

These two beautiful people are Tami and her husband Ed. Tami is one of my very best friends, ever. Yesterday, we all helped to celebrate another year in her wonderfully blessed life. Happy Birthday, Tami ... !

Recently, she and I participated in Beth Moore's newest study on Esther. I remember a point Beth made while studying Esther chapter Two, specifically Verse 15. Actually, the latter half of that verse which reads, "and Esther won the favor of everyone who saw her." A portion of Beth's commentary on that tiny bit of passage reads like this:

"... you and I both know that a rare woman indeed is beautiful from a male perspective and favored by other women. I think Esther was as likeable as she was beautiful. She had looks a man liked, but she had a demeanor that women liked. Perhaps she was endearing and befriending to others. Maybe she refused to get her toes tangled in their back-combed hair on her climb to the top and she was humble enough to accept advice. Esther managed to walk the fine line of moderation without making others feel judged because they didn't."

She then goes on to ask how often I have witnessed that kind of girl. My answer, barely more than a handful of times have I met a woman even remotely close to the way Esther is described. Tami is certainly ranked high on that list. She is drop dead gorgeous, but doesn't act like it. She loves the Lord, and her beauty reflects it, "those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame" - Psalm 34:5. She is generous with her time, her talent and love. She is a fantastic cook, a wonderful listener, a loyal friend, and a blessed sister in Christ. I love her to pieces!

This is a photo progression of a little something I made for her.

A work in progress

The final piece!

2009-07-09T11:12:00.006-05:00

We made a change for the better yesterday. We canceled our secular TV service and have given the boot to mainstream media in our home. Though we've been considering this step for a while, something that happened last week pushed us over the edge.

Elijah and I were home alone. While I was in and out of the family room, preparing dinner, we were enjoying a very family friendly show on ABC. However, while in the kitchen putting the final touches on our meal, I realized that during a commercial break a frightening movie preview was on TV. I ran into the family room as soon as I heard it, only to realize it had just ended. And, there was Elijah staring intently at the screen. I apologized profusely that he had seen it, and asked him if he was okay. He said he was, but I prepared for a restless night thinking he might have nightmares. Thankfully, he didn't ... God is good. But, it was then that our decision was made.

Sam and I have been growing increasingly uncomfortable with all of the sexual content on programs and commercials alike. We're sick of commercials about Maxiderm, Viagra, and the host of other enhancement drugs and their 'bigger and better' innuendo. We've also grown weary of the many horror movie trailers that appear even during family friendly programming. Most of them are extremely disturbing, even for adults. As well, more and more programs are condoning the sins of homosexuality, fornication, adultery, drug use and all kinds of behaviors that dishonor God.

We're finished. Instead, we opted for Sky Angel to be our only source of television programming and we couldn't be happier. They have a huge selection of high quality TV, radio and video-on-demand channels to choose from, and ALL are family friendly. You can 'click here' for a link to their site to read about their vision and mission. We won't ever have to be concerned about what our kids are being exposed to via TV again. It's a small step, but one we're glad to have taken. The less of the world that we permit in to our home, the less of the world we permit in to our hearts and minds. "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." - Proverbs 4:23

"The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him."

~ Matthew 12:35

2009-07-05T13:01:00.003-05:00

Today is the Family Research Council's 'Call2Fall', based upon 2 Chronicles 7:14, "if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land"

I hope and pray that YOU will join me in prayer for our country. John 10:10 tells us, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I [Jesus] came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." That thief is Satan himself, and he comes ONLY to steal, kill and destroy. It won't take more than a cursory look around our nation to see that many people are suffering from all kinds of devastation, be it financial hardship, broken families, senseless violence, sickness and disease, or even crushing busyness. The devil knows us all too well, and knows that if he can either draw us away from God, or simply disobey Him, that we will lose His blessing. God cannot bless a disobedient people. He cannot bless a people who deliberately engage in willful sin, nor will He bless a government that promotes it. Christ said that He came to give us an abundant life, a joyFULL life, but that we must come to Him in faith.

Please pray with me for our nation. Please intercede on behalf of others ... lift them up before the Lord and ask that He please hear us, forgive us, and bless our land.

2009-07-03T22:12:00.013-05:00

Early Birthday Present

Elijah has turned into a Star Wars junkie! We have both trilogy sets and he loves them all! (Of course, we skip past the scary parts.) Nonetheless, Elijah likes to think of himself as a Jedi Knight, so when I saw that Space Center Houston was offering a Star Wars Jedi Training Camp .... we had to sign him up! This was an early birthday present for our big boy ... he'll be 4 on the 28th!

Elijah with R2D2

Elijah with C3PO

Daddy & Elijah with the Evil Trio ... Darth Vader and His Storm Troopers

The Jedi Master Giving a Light Saber Demonstration

Jedi Training Camp
This is when they learned all those cool Jedi moves!

I had Elijah on my shoulders during the Light Saber training.
He's practicing here ... and so is everyone else!
There was a HUGE crowd.

The Jedi Knights final words and administering the Jedi Oath

Elijah reciting his oath to become a Jedi!

And, now it's official .... we have an 'actual' Jedi in the family.

We're SO proud! ;-)

Happy Early Birthday!!!

2009-06-14T21:51:00.003-05:00

We've been working with Elijah for quite a while to develop his interest in potty training, and until today, we hadn't seen much progress. Today was different!!! Hallelujah!!!

Elijah came in to the kitchen this morning and announced that he had used the potty! WOW!!!! I immediately ran with him to the bathroom to see the evidence. Sure enough, it was there. And, his aim was good!!! ;-)

We had a huge jump for joy that involved lots of dancing and praising God. Then, we made good on our promise that when he finally used the potty, we'd buy him an aquarium for his room.

Here is a video of Elijah's Big Day!!! SO FUN!

2009-05-05T04:03:00.006-05:00

Youth Auction!

Connor has been part of an amazing youth group at First Baptist Church of Brazoria for the last year. We've been so thankful for his involvement, and for the leadership of his Youth Pastor, John Elkins. Several kids from the group are planning a mission trip to Seattle, Washington this summer to help with a church plant, and it's first ever Vacation Bible School. Part of the requirement to go was to help with the Church's annual Youth Auction, a fundraising event for the their annual student budget. All of the kids actively support the event by donating two of their own items, as well as serving the community during an afternoon BBQ lunch and live and silent auctions. One of Connor's items to donate was the gift of time. He donated eight hours of his time, and actually sold for $120!!! We're so proud! He was won by a sweet family of nine, and will begin serving his 'time' shortly. ;-)

Here are a couple of photos from the event.

One is a flyer from the church, and the other is Connor's donated item.

Going once, twice, three times ... SOLD!

2009-04-29T04:32:00.007-05:00

It's been seemingly forever since I last wrote ... can hardly believe the time that has flown by.

There have been a lot of reasons for my silence. It's been partly due to the busyness of life, and mostly because of a work God has been accomplishing in my heart. Whenever I feel like I'm holed up in a spiritual incubator, I prefer not to write. It's difficult to describe the kind of mental and emotional flux I've been in because of this transformation. I feel a bit like I've morphed into a different person over these past several months, like this spiritual upheaval and renewal has birthed something new. The truth is, it has. I am new, and getting here hasn't been easy.

This year has been chock-full of all kinds of 'new'. I've taught my first full year at the Master's Academy of Fine Arts. Awesome!! And, also at a homeschool coop aptly named H.I.S. (short for Homeschool Instructional Services) and long in that it's an everyday reminder that we are indeed His, created for His glory and good pleasure. I also completed my first ever speaking engagement at a Women's Retreat earlier this month. Wow! Did God EVER show up for that! He was BIG!!! Hallelujah!

And, while I've been teacher to nearly 50 students, I can't help but realize my own growth in the classroom of life. Cliche' I know. But, true. I've told several dear friends of my new found appreciation for Jesus' words to Peter in Luke 22: 31-31, "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." In the King James version, this verse reads that Satan desired to have Peter. One definition for 'desired' in the original Greek is, "to ask that one be given up to one from the power of another". That is, Satan asked for Peter to be given up from God's power unto his own. The implications of this are huge. Second, the Greek word for sift, 'siniazo' (sin-ee-ad'-zo) means, " to shake in a sieve ...by inward agitation to try one's faith to the verge of overthrow". This passage is sobering for many reasons. One is that its plain that God does allow our faith to be tested, at times to nearly breaking. But, this IS for our good. Peter who was bitterly broken hearted for denying Christ, went on to become Peter the Rock whom Christ used to found his church. - Matthew 16:18.

Peter went on to describe his, and our, fiery trials this way in 1 Peter 1: 6-7, "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

While I am not comparing myself to Peter, I can empathize now more than ever with his trials by fire. One of the things I remember most about my application for teacher with the Master's Academy (a Christ centered school) were two pointed questions, "Are you willing to commit to this program knowing that involvement in the reclaiming of the arts [for Christ] is a serious battleground for spiritual warfare?" and "How will you prepare for this?" Wow. I thought I knew spiritual warfare before signing on with the Academy, but since I accepted the challenge my faith has been rigorously tested far beyond my expectation. And, too, after accepting a speaking engagement for the largest-to-date First Baptist West Columbia Women's Retreat, I felt the drawing back of God's protection and entering into Satan's sieve like never before. Though, I was never out of my Father's hands, he did permit a serious time of testing for me and there were moments that I thought I would break. I have felt the crushing weight of overwhelming doubt, insecurity, busyness, family strife, and spiritual ineptness like never before. I felt hindered in my spiritual growth, and despite a time of of not feeling God's presence, I forced myself ... literally led my heart ... to press into Him further. To beg for His protection, to cover myself in His armor, to admit my weakness, to expose my need, to relearn how to be His child, and to rest in His arms. One advantage to being in a sieve is having all the 'unnecessary' fall away. While it's been hard to see parts of myself, things that I once thought were indispensable, shook loose ... what remains is pure, or nearly so. I've come further. I've grown. And, I'm on my way to being usable again.

God is still in the redeeming business. Isn't it good that God still knows and calls us by name? What more significance can we achieve than for the God of the universe to call us, love us, use us and redeem us for His good will and pleasure? We are significant. We are meaningful, and we are everlastingly loved. - Jeremiah 31:3.

2008-11-11T23:50:00.010-06:00

God Inhabits Our Praise ...!
Psalm 22:3

That's what God has been speaking to me.

Specifically.

Repetitively.

Resoundingly.

Powerfully.

With unshakable provocation.

He's telling me to do this

NOW

Psalm 150: 1-6

"Praise the LORD.
praise God in his sanctuary; praise Him in his mighty heavens.
praise Him for his acts of power; praise Him for his surpassing greatness.
praise Him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise Him with the harp and lyre,
praise Him with tambourine and dancing, praise Him with the strings and flute,
praise Him with the clash of cymbals, praise Him with resounding cymbals.

Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD."

With all that the last week has brought, a new President specifically, I know I've not been alone in experiencing the whole gamut of emotions our hearts know to contrive. It's been tough. I am still in awe that we've just elected the least God fearing man to ever hold the office of President in our Nation's history. Those of us who know God, and know how He's revealed Himself in scripture, know to expect a 'whole-lot-a-shakin' in the days and years to come. One of my favorite scriptures is 1 Chronicles 12:32. It talks about certain men readying for battle to ensure King David would take the throne of Israel. It says of these that some were, "... men of Issachar, who understood the times and knew what Israel should do..."

I love that.

I want to be like a [wo]man of Issachar, who understands the times and will know what to do. Actually, I believe that all children of God can be like the men and women of Issachar, because we've been given the gift of the Holy Spirit to help us discern the signs of the times, and who also will help us discern appropriate actions to take. For now, the action I'm being told to take is simply to Praise God; to remember His faithfulness; to remember His strength; His great love and power to save.

I have to admit that I'm becoming slightly disheartened with some of the Christian community, myself included, in recent days. It seems that we've gone off the deep-end, lamenting over how awful Obama's administration is going to be. Many are concerned, and rightly so, over the overarching affects of Obama's pro-abortion stance, his zest for the Hate Crimes and Fairness Doctrine bills, anti Israel stance and courting of Hamas, his support of homosexuality, and socialist ideas. Yes, to Evangelicals, there is no doubt that Obama's administration poses serious threats to Christians and the propagation of the gospel. Dire times are ahead. But, where in all of our angst, worry and frustration does praise fit in? We should all be asking this question.

Now is not the time to put up our dukes and ready for a fleshly fight. Now is the time to Praise Him, and to recall Exodus 14: 13, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today." We would also do good to remember 2 Peter 2: 6-7, 9, "if He condemned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah by burning them to ashes, and made them an example of what is going to happen to the ungodly; and if he rescued Lot, a righteous man, who was distressed by the filthy lives of lawless men, ... then the Lord knows how to rescue godly men from trials and to hold the unrighteous for the day of judgment..."

Friends, we serve a God who is able to protect, preserve and prolong His people. We can and should expect perilous times ahead, but lets not forget the God that we serve. Let's not forget that God inhabits our praises; we release God's power in our lives when we fervently rejoice in Him. That truth hit me afresh two days ago, and I've been reveling in it since. I want God to inhabit my life, my family, my home, my church, my community, my country, this world! Praise releases God's power, yet we so often forget to adore, extol and lavish upon Him all that is right to give.

Now is the time to praise the Lord!!

Praise His Name Forever, and Ever, and Ever .....

This seemed fitting to share ... one of my favorite Praise Songs, Ever!!

"Did you Feel the Mountains Tremble?" by SonicFlood

Here also is a clickable link to an excellent article on Praise!
I pray that it will bless you as it did me!

2008-11-07T12:50:00.006-06:00

I've been encouraged by so many things, but most of all, by God himself. Though my prayers seem to have not been answered in the way I expected, I solidly hold firm to the truth that GOD IS IN CONTROL.

His plan has not been thwarted.

Though many of us who chase after Him may be asking ourselves things like: What went wrong? Did God not hear us? Did God choose not to answer our prayers? I believe that though we all have been surprised by these election results, nothing went wrong. God did hear us. And, He did answer our prayers.

God's thoughts and ways are higher than our own - Isaiah 55:8-9.

Though we may not understand what in the world is going on, we can understand that God has not forsaken His people. We can understand that His will is being accomplished. And, we can understand that we are still His chosen few ...

His fellow workers in Christ. - 2 Corinthians 6:1-3.

Here are some wise words from Del Tackett of Focus on the Family
(follow the above clickable link to read his post in full)

"Today is a new day…and we have much ahead of us! We should live no differently today than we should have been living before: with hope, with joy, with peace; walking blamelessly before God and before men; being light and salt in the world; working as unto the Lord ... Now is the time for the attractively, winsome body of Christ to show What we are made of and in Whom we trust…for we do not trust in horses or chariots, but in the name of the Lord our God. You and I are to pray for Barack Obama, for the selection of his Cabinet, for the appointment of judges, and for the decisions he and Congress are going to be making in the next 4 years."

2 Chronicles 15:7
"But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded."

2008-11-05T14:47:00.020-06:00

Oh, sigh. Where to start?

Needless to say, I am extremely disappointed with the results of yesterday's election. There is no question that my sentiment places me within a small minority, and that fact has caused me to reflect on 1 Peter 2:11, "Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul."

I definitely feel like an alien ... a stranger.

Barack Obama has won the Presidency, and though my spirit is downcast because of it, I must turn to 1 Peter 2:13-17, "Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king. "

The fact of the matter is that many Christians, who claim to know the Eternal King, are either unaware or have blatantly condoned the many stances of Obama that are in direct opposition to God's Word.

Barack Obama is the SOLE Senator to argue against the Born Alive Infant Protection Act,

which in essence, means that he supports infanticide. Babies that survive abortions may live anywhere from one to eight hours and are often left to die painful suffocating deaths alone, sometimes in soiled utility rooms. Obama argued against their protection four times. Exodus 20:13, "You shall not commit murder"

He supports Gay and Lesbian marriage.

Leviticus 18:22
"You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination."

He will 'strengthen Hate Crimes legislation.'

This most likely will tear into the 1st Amendment of our Constitution, and may have grave consequences on any Christ Follower's ability to share the gospel without fear of persecution. To learn more about the bill please follow this link to the Family Research Council. Matthew 24: 9-10, "Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other..."

It is unlikely that Obama will be a friend to Israel.

He has already expressed Palestinian support, and they've already expressed their expectations to force Israel into a peace agreement and land swap. You may or may not be aware that such an agreement is prelude to the Tribulation.

"Israel is the apple of God's eye. She is His holy nation and He will bless those who bless her and curse those who curse her." Zechariah 2:7-9 & Genesis 12:3.

Please, please read these important news articles from the publications of Israel Today and World Net Daily.

From Israel Today

Arabs confident Obama will birth 'Palestine - July 2008

Israel Left Uneasy by Obama Victory - Nov. 2008

Palestinians Remind Obama They Expect Change - Nov. 2008

From World Net Daily

Hamas praises Obama win as 'historic victory for world' - Nov. 2008
Terror group drafting letter of congrats to be sent directly to president-elect

Ahmadinejad congratulates Obama - Nov. 2008
Iranian leader expresses high hopes for Democrat's presidency

Isaiah 60:12 - speaking of Israel
"For the nation or kingdom that will not serve you will perish; it will be utterly ruined."

I will honor my Father and thus honor President Elect Barack Obama. However, I am resolute beyond all measure that I am first a citizen of the Kingdom of God.

To me, this election has far reaching spiritual consequences that most Americans seem to be completely oblivious to. I pray that their eyes and ears will be opened.

1 Corinthians 2:6-10, 14 "We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. No, we speak of God's secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. However, as it is written: 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him' — but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit .... The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."

2008-11-04T21:30:00.002-06:00

Here's a link to Excellent live streaming coverage of the Elections from OneNewsNow.com

Link Removed - No Longer Available

2008-11-03T20:19:00.004-06:00

This is a prayer for our country from the
1928 Book of Common Prayer:

Almightly God, who hast given us this good land for our heritage; We humbly beseech thee that we may always prove ourselves a people mindful of thy favour and glad to do thy will. Bless our land with honourable industry, sound learning, and pure manners. Save us from violence, discord and confusion; from pride and arrogancy, and from every evil way. Defend our liberties, and fashion into our united people the multitudes brought hither out of many kindreds and tongues. Endue with the spirit of wisdom those to whom in thy Name we entrust the authority of government, that there may be justice and peace at home, and that, through obedience to thy law, we may show forth thy praise among the nations of the earth. In the time of prosperity, fill our hearts with thankfulnesss, and in the day of trouble, suffer not our trust in thee to fail; all which we ask through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

******

From the Family Research Council .... check it out!

Link Removed - No Longer Available

2008-11-02T20:42:00.009-06:00

There are 60,000,000
Evangelical Christians in the United States today.

If one of them is YOU....

please VOTE YOUR VALUES!

Jesus said in Matthew 12:36-37, "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

If on the day of our judgment we'll have to give an account for even our careless words, I want to especially make certain that my words of weight are well chosen. Voting is a serious matter.

Let's uphold what God holds dear,
and be found faithful as the Day draws near.

Be prepared when you vote. Here is a link to the Brazoria County Election Center. Find your clickable precinct to download a Sample Ballot for your area. Your precinct can be easily found on your Voter's Registration Card. Here, too, is a clickable link to FreeVotersGuide.org. This is an easy-to read, non-partisan Voter's Guide which will enable you to quickly learn how candidates voted on issues important to you. Do the research. Be informed. And, vote decisively with sound mind and conscience.

2008-10-31T23:02:00.008-05:00

"If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all."
Isaiah 7:9

I can't remember a single election in my life, from my youth till now, that has stirred my soul so deeply. Our country is divided beyond repair, and lies on the cusp of redemption or judgment.

A few words from our Nation's Founding Fathers.
Ponder them thoughtfully.

Excerpts recited with thanks from the site of WallBuilders.com

Jedidiah Morse
Historian of the American Revolution
"To the kindly influence of Christianity we owe that degree of civil freedom and political and social happiness which mankind now enjoys. All efforts made to destroy the foundations of our Holy Religion ultimately tend to the subversion also of our political freedom and happiness. In proportion as the genuine effects of Christianity are diminished in any nation… in the same proportion will the people of that nation recede from the blessings of genuine freedom… Whenever the pillars of Christianity shall be overthrown, our present republican forms of government – and all the blessings which flow from them – must fall with them." - A Sermon, Exhibiting the Present Dangers and Consequent Duties of the Citizens of the United States of America, Delivered at Charlestown, April 25, 1799, The Day of the National Fast (MA: Printed by Samuel Etheridge, 1799), p. 9.

George Washington
First President of the United States of America
"The blessing and protection of Heaven are at all times necessary but especially so in times of public distress and danger. The General [God] hopes and trusts that every officer and man will endeavor to live and act as becomes a Christian soldier, defending the dearest rights and liberties of his country." - The Writings of George Washington, John C. Fitzpatrick, editor (Washington: Government Printing Office, 1932), Vol. 5, p. 245, July 9, 1776

Gouverneur Morris
Penman of the United States Constitution
"There must be religion. When that ligament is torn, society is disjointed and its members perish… The most important of all lessons is the denunciation of ruin to every state that rejects the precepts of religion." - from “An Inaugural Discourse Delivered Before the New York Historical Society by the Honorable Gouverneur Morris, (President,) 4th September, 1816.

Any one of our country's citizens who believes in separation of church and state have either been misguided through no fault of their own, or are themselves perpetuating a lie of revisionist history. Our country was founded for the purpose of evangelism. Our country was founded because of our forefathers love of Christ, and their desire to bring His light to the world. When we endorse the things that God hates, we lose His favor. He cannot bless a nation that defiles His Word, or that engages in willful sin. God hates murder and thus abortion. God hates what is abominable and thus homosexuality.

He does NOT hate people .... He hates their SIN.

When I look at our choices for President today, I don't see Republican and Democrat. I see the fruit of men's character. "...by their fruit you will recognize them." - John 7:20. I want a President who will stand strong for the things that God loves, and who will oppose the things that God hates. "No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God. This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God..." - 1 John 3:9-10.

For some, I know that this election is not just about moral issues. It represents hope for current financial crises. I can't help but surmise that we are losing God's favor, for willfully engaging in sins abhorrent to Him. It makes sense that without God's favor, any hope of financial blessing would be dashed along with it. However, if we were to repent, to choose wisely and follow God, might things be different? There is only one place in the Bible where God gives us freedom to test Him. And, wouldn't you know that it would be with regard to our finances? Check out Malachi 3:10, "Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and try Me now in this," says the LORD of hosts, “ If I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it." Of course, this blessing too is dependent on our own faithfulness of the tithe. Money is EASY for God. Let's not get hung up on finances.

Let's LOVE what God loves.

Let's DO what God says.

And, let's GAIN the favor of God's blessings again!

"If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?"
Psalm 11:3

Choose Wisely.

2008-10-23T05:47:00.002-05:00

This issue is close to my heart. I pray that ALL who are able WILL

VOTE!!

Everything could change in TWELVE days.

Pray that God's mercy would be upon us.

2008-09-24T22:20:00.002-05:00

Meet Roxie Joy .... Our Newest Addition

I know, I know ... it practically seems that we're near able to open a zoo. But, how could we resist? Sam and I had been noticing this precious dog that we guess must have been left behind by former owners. Of course, we can't be sure, but it seemed odd to us that a dog would stay in the same location for two weeks while living an obviously abandoned life. On September 3rd, I couldn't bear it a moment longer. This poor thing had been shrinking in size, and finally looked to be just skin in bones. We drove down the road to pay her a visit, and instantly fell in love. She is a sweetheart to be sure.

Of course, we swooped her up and scheduled her to see our vet the same day. While we were not surprised to learn that she was severely malnourished, we were sad to hear that she has heart worms. Bummer. But, a treatable bummer. After gaining nine pounds in three weeks, we began treatment today. She received an injection which will begin to slowly kill the worms off, and she'll need a second shot in a month. For now, she seems to be doing well and will enjoy the pampered pooch therapy while she slowly recovers indoors. Her vet recommended little to no exercise so as not to complicate her treatment and recovery. I hope she does well. We're all already really attached. ;-)

She really is a Roxie JOY!

2008-09-22T22:52:00.006-05:00

Sheesh! I can and can't believe its been well over a month since my last post. It seems that life has been quite the whirlwind, and that is quite literally the truth. We're just now barely returning to normal following all the chaos of Hurricane Ike. Truthfully, for us we came through with great ease compared to many others in our community and surrounding cities. We've been singing God's praises for sparing us from the hardship that many are now facing. I've spoken with several women today whose families are still without power following the storm of eleven days ago. My heart goes out to them. Some are not only without power, but without their homes as well. A few families lived ON the coast and have either had their roofs blown off and houses wrecked, or homes completely flooded that are reparable but currently unlivable, and others with homes that were entirely claimed by the sea. Despite the peril, loss and sadness the voices of these women are filled with amazing hope and joy. The difficulties they now face are somehow muted as they weather them together with their families who are SAFE and out of harms way. It is a miracle of God's love that He carries us through every kind of storm, and that we see His face and tenderness even in the aftermath of a Hurricane's fury. Praise Him!

So, the past few weeks have been a blur of all kinds of goodness. Connor has begun to drive!! And, what a fabulous driver he is. It's bittersweet now to think of him driving us nearly all the way to Galveston just four weeks ago. Just thinking about it brings images to mind of the Galveston SeaWall and so many homes and businesses behind its barrier that have been obliterated by a swelling ocean. You never can tell what may be around tomorrow's corner.

I've also been teaching (Yay!) and can't wait to share more about that. I'm really living a dream, and still have to pinch myself for having been so abundantly blessed. All I know to say is, "God is Good!!" And, that I'm definitely being stretched. Beth Moore, a favorite Bible Teacher, often says that if you truly submit to God's will and allow Him to use you, He will, and you can expect that He'll stretch you beyond your comfort zone. I am SO there, but happy for the sometimes pangs of distress, because I know I'm in for a phenomenal adventure.

I'm in the midst of an independent study titled No Other Gods by Kelly Minter, Wonderful!! And, I've also just begun, with my ladies group of nearly three years (Yahoo!!), the study by Margaret Feinberg called the Organic God. She is incredibly sweet and fresh and is taking us along a path she ventured to know God MORE. I am loving this study, as I really, really need to know God more. These past few months have tested my spiritual mettle, and sadly, I've been found wanting. Truthfully, that's not too sad, because it's become unequivocally clear that I need to lean on Him more, and lean on me (or my own understanding) less. - Proverbs 3:5-6. Leaning on Him is never a bad thing, and I'm glad to be vulnerably exposed to His conviction, redemption and chastening as He draws me to new levels of accountability and responsibility.

And, last, but not least, we received an incredibly huge financial blessing over the weekend. All we know to say is God is GOOD!!! And, to the messenger of this fabulous gift, Thank you... Thank you ... Thank you!! You Rock! ;-)

With that, I'll be back a lot sooner than later and with more good stuff to report.

2008-08-08T22:56:00.005-05:00

I just found this organization and their site: www.p4cm.com. If you're serious about your walk with Christ, you must check it out. You will be blessed.

Would you believe they have an official poet? Cool, huh? I thought so too. Her name is Blair Wingo. She is bold, and she is anointed. I've been blown away. There are many, many recordings of her work. These two poems, Don't Add On & All My Devotion Was Emotion, are a couple of samplings. Enjoy this powerful work.

Don't Add On

All My Emotion Was Devotion

2008-08-01T03:00:00.044-05:00

Birthdays!!!

Our joy certainly has come in the morning! ~ Jeremiah 31:13. Despite the sadness of losing our little Lilibeth Eve, we have had the incredible joy of celebrating the lives and years of our two terrific sons, Connor and Elijah. Connor turned 'Sweet 16' on July 18th, and ten days later, Elijah turned three. Wow! I can hardly believe it.

We tried out a new cake recipe for Connor's birthday. He picked it out from one of my gazillion cookbooks. It's called 'Chocoloatetown Special'. And, boy, if-I-do-say-so-myself .... It Was Good!!!

Both Connor and Elijah offered to 'clean-up' the excess frosting. I always make extra, because there never seems to be enough to adequately cover two cake rounds with just one batch.

Elijah enjoyed volunteering!

One of Connor's gifts was this brand new acoustic Estaban guitar. This guitar is a little different from the one you see in the background in that it has a slightly different sound and can be amplified. He received an amplifier with it, of course, along with four years of instructional DVDs. He's already gone through several of the lessons, and played it a bunch. I think he likes it!

What made his 16th birthday particularly 'Sweet' was this: an enrollment to our local Driving Academy. He's been itching to get his driver's permit for a year, and was thrilled beyond measure to see that his time had come. He's attending his fifth day of training right now, and has two more weeks of classroom study before he'll begin driving one-on-one with his instructor. We'll go to our local DPS (for some of you: DMV) on Monday to apply for his actual permit. He wants to make use of the weekend to study for the test.

We also took him to his favorite steakhouse, 'Texas Land & Cattle' for lunch and, of course, free desert. After that, we headed to another favorite spot, 'Dave & Busters', a mostly adult arcade. There were plenty of games that we could all enjoy, but I must say that there were a lot of violent and lewd games too ... sigh. An unfortunate sign of the times.

One, Two, Three .... !

Elijah enjoyed his brother's birthday cake so much,
that he insisted to have one of his own.

Can a picture be worth a thousand words?
Yes ... !!!

It took him a few tries, but he managed to blow out all of his candles.
I think brother helped from across the table.

This is a keyboard from Crayola that can be plugged in to any of our laptops. Elijah is beginning to really enjoy working on the computer, and we thought this would be a fun way for him to get involved.

Grandma & Grandpa sent this little tool set. It is completely handcrafted from wood and came with a hammer, wrench, screw driver, nuts-bolts-and washers, and plenty of boards to fasten to one another.

This was a perfect gift for our little constructor. He loves to build!

He also received a 76-piece wooden block set. It has many various shapes, all chunky and easy to handle. It's so big and heavy that I had to buy a cart for him to wheel them around.

There he goes. The box lasted for about 1.2 seconds.

The painting in the background is one that I'm working
on for a friend at church. It's nearly complete. Yay!

Grandpa, this photo should make you proud. Look at that tongue! He's definitely a chip off of your block when it comes to building and repairing things ... tongue and all!

He also received an old fashioned pedal car firetruck. This took me nearly five hours to build, and every moment was worth the smile on his face. We have an awesome video from when he first saw it, but it was too big for me to post here. When I figure out how to shrink it, I'll post it. Sam has another video already posted in Elijah's blog. You can click here to see it.

As an added treat we all went to Kemah to celebrate our birthday boys. Prior to his birthday, Elijah had never been on any rides. And, Connor has just recently overcome his fear of coasters. So, together, they were quite a pair. Elijah and Connor rode fearlessly with loads of fun till the park closed that night. It was one of the best days we've enjoyed together as a family.

This was our first stop ... the Ferris wheel.

Oh, I guess I stand corrected.
Elijah has ridden on the carousel at the Houston Zoo.
Though, the zoo doesn't have any dragons!

Don't ask me how I did it, but I managed to squeeze myself into this itty-bitty plane to accompany Elijah. He had TONS of fun. You can't see them here, but the plane had a control lever and buttons to press on the dashboard. He kept twirling and pressing them to make fun sound affects. He had a blast!

This was the 'Space Needle' of Kemah Boardwalk.

Elijah really enjoyed to see over the park and Gulf of Mexico.

He saw his first pelican ... really neat.

A twirly hot-air balloon ride. Poor Connor, he's so tall now that his knees touched the sides and he barely cleared his head. I think his size made Elijah feel particularly safe.

This looked like an unassuming ride. It was a little submarine that moved round-in-round in the shape of circle. However, both Connor and I remarked that it made our tummies kind of BLAH! Elijah loved it and was completely unfazed.

Connor and I LOVED this ride called Chaos. It spun and gyrated all at the same time, and if you wanted to be brave, you could completely flip your car around too. Needless to say, we were brave. We flipped, spun and gyrated till we couldn't see straight ... and laughed till our sides nearly split. That was definitely one of the best rides there.

Elijah had his face painted too.
He chose a shark that looked like Bruce from Finding Nemo.

Plotting their next ride ... !
And, Elijah remaining amazingly still for Mariah to paint her masterpiece.

The final result ... it was good!

2008-07-17T00:13:00.008-05:00

I feel like adding a final post about the loss of our baby on July 5th. As hard as it's been to go through, amazing good has come from it.

When I woke up blood soaked early Saturday morning, I knew that something was terribly wrong. Though I hadn't been in pain at that time, Sam insisted we rush to the hospital. We did. Two very tender and sweet nurses began taking care of me. They had such kind expressions, but laced with sorrow. It was difficult to look in to their eyes.

As I laid on the stiff white bed, in the cool and sterile hospital room, I simply closed my eyes and prayed ... and prayed ... and prayed. The nurses had gone for at least a period of an hour. During that time I prayed Jeremiah 32:17, "Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you." I kept saying over and over again ... "nothing is too hard for You. You can do this. You can fix what's wrong and make it right." I not only said those words, but believed them deeply.

There was no way that I'd give thought or voice to loss of hope.

When the nurses returned, the doctor followed. He had a serious expression on his face, a mix between stern and grave. When he asked if I understood what was happening, there was only one reply. Yes ... I did. Despite, acknowledging his words my hope had still not been lost. I asked if we could listen for the baby's heartbeat. The doctor began to speak very clinically, and said that we could try, but doubted that we'd hear anything. Despite his pessimism, I insisted. The nurse slathered my belly with cool gel, and began to carefully search for the baby's heartbeat. But only mine was heard. It seemed that my baby had already been gone ... now it was time for 'biology' (as the doctor put it) ... to take over.

There were so many layers to my experience at that time. Despite being physically and verbally engaged with the nurses, and doctor; despite my own discomfort and tumult of emotion, I had been fully gripped in prayer. It had been when I heard no heartbeat other than my own that I immediately switched gears and conceded to God, "It's a no. I know that nothing is too hard for you, but You said no. So, instead I'm going to praise You through this storm. I don't know why this is happening, but I know that You are faithful. I will still love You no matter what. You are still on the throne. You still love me. And, now I have a child in heaven ... with You." As I had been praising God, another line of thought crossed my mind. I had been thinking, while praying, how glad I was that despite the torment of my circumstance that my first reaction was to PRAISE HIM!!! That alone gave me peace and joy. And, while this peace surrounded me like a blanket, another thought began to enter. I thought, could this be pride? Am I feeling pride now ... at this moment, while my baby is literally falling from my body? Ugh. Though the thought of it repulsed me, there remained a deep satisfaction that yes! ... praise had been my first response. I had praised God at the most difficult of times, and in my most vulnerable state.

After arriving home from the hospital that morning, I immediately turned to the Word. I had been searching for the verse in Jeremiah 31:13, 'I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.' I had been set on claiming that passage to get me through the day and days to come. However, As I had been searching for that passage, God revealed another to me. It was Job 6:10, 'Then I would still have this consolation - my joy in unrelenting pain - that I had not denied the words of the Holy One.' In the King James Version, the verse reads, 'Then should I yet have comfort; yea, I would harden myself in sorrow: let him not spare; for I have not concealed the words of the Holy One.' The word harden in today's language seems to give the verse the exact opposite meaning of it's true translation. In Hebrew, the word 'harden' means to 'leap, jump or spring for joy.' So, Job, in his inmost heart still leaped for joy because he hadn't denied God ... even after losing all of his children, his livestock, his home and his health. He continued to praise God.

I knew at that moment that God had given me a special word. The experience I had with Him in the hospital, praising Him first despite enormous loss and pain, was not pride but simple joy. I had been joyful to praise Him even in the midst of despair. I'm so glad. Thank you Father, for holding me then and now. You always do. I pray that I will be endlessly thankful for your goodness.

I feel that it is important for me to share this experience, if for nothing else than to give others a ray of hope. This experience has not been easy. It's been heart wrenching. But, despite the mourning, there has been gladness. We can survive our 'worst thing imaginable' with God. He will carry us. And, though we may never know the 'why' on this side of heaven, we can know the truth. And, the truth is OUR GOD IS GOOD!!! He has plans for us .... 'plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future.' - Jeremiah 29:11. Our daughter may be in heaven, but that is where I'd want her to be anyway .... despite wanting to selfishly hold her in my flesh and blood arms, on earth. She is where we all want to be ... in the loving arms of the one who loves like no other ... our true Father in heaven. Praise be to Him.

We named her Lilibeth Eve. In Hebrew: Lili means 'pure and innocent.' Beth (short for Elizabeth) means 'God is my oath.' And, Eve means 'alive or living.' So, all together she is an innocent daughter of God, alive and living because of His oath of faithfulness to us.

Praise Him for He is Good!

2008-07-09T17:41:00.003-05:00

A friend had this photo on her blog ... had to borrow it. Thank you, Jill. It's so fitting for what I'm feeling right now. It's called Baby in a Tree ... if you look closely you can see the definite shape of a baby in the underside of the tree limbs.

This is so beautiful....

2008-07-08T15:02:00.021-05:00

There are so many things that I've been wanting to write about and share. But, there either hasn't been time, or it's been consumed by other things. This weekend has been no different ... definitely consumed by the unexpected: I lost my baby on July 5th.

Though I've not been capable of 'talking' about it with anyone just yet, I do feel the need to express my feelings, and here seems to be the right place to start.

This was my third pregnancy. My mother had difficulty with her pregnancies (note the plural and that I am an only child). Because of her history, I had fear during my first pregnancy that I'd miscarry easily. But, that fear gave way to joy as I progressed without concern. Connor will be sixteen this month, and Elijah three. Though thirteen years apart, my pregnancies had been easy. I had no reason to expect anything different.

On July 4th, I began to spot just a little. Despite knowing that some women experience this in pregnancy, I was only slightly worried in that this had never been my experience. So, I began praying that everything would be alright. At first the spotting seemed to lighten, but then it reoccurred and this time looked more like bright red blood. Now I was concerned. I continued praying and tried to rest. Later that night I awoke at around 4:15am blood soaked and ran to the bathroom. Some tissue fell from my body ... an eerie feeling I'll never forget. Sam insisted that we wake Elijah and go to the hospital. We arrived there at nearly 4:45am. The staff checked me in and two nurses began to treat me. Though they had few words, their somber expressions screamed what I didn't want to hear. A doctor came in about an hour later and asked me, "Do you understand what's happening?" As I barely choked out a faint "yes", my throat ached and tears flooded my eyes. It had been the first time I admitted to my heart what was happening. I was losing my baby. The hospital sent me home with instructions on how to monitor my symptoms. I continued to bleed, near hemorrhage, for nineteen hours before returning to the hospital. They contacted an OB from a nearby city to get instruction as to how to treat me. They opted for a drug called Methergine to control my bleeding, but they had none on site. I waited for two hours for the drug to be couriered from another hospital. As soon as it had been given to me, my uterus began to painfully cramp. I was nearly doubled over still bleeding, still clotting and now in agonizing pain. They gave me a heavy pain reliever and released me for home again. The car trip was excruciating ... every bump, hole and fissure magnified my pain and I writhed by the time we were there.

The painkiller allowed me to sleep through the night. Sam made me comfortable and waited on me like a prince throughout. He called the same OB that the hospital had spoken with to make an early morning appointment for Monday. We arrived at 9:15am. The receptionist knew to expect us, but in my mind seemed to be graceless with regard to our condition. She was so matter of fact, and concerned mainly with how we'd pay than with how we felt. Ugh. I am not a hateful person, but thoughts of love and joy were not being stirred towards her. After a few moments, the doctor saw Sam and I. He explained that he was going to look at me and see if I had passed everything I needed to. Sam took Elijah and went back to the waiting room. And, I headed to a small dimly lit room that had a very odd, very stiff, and very uncomfortable looking chair in it. It wasn't the usual bed you see in a doctor's office ... this looked more like something you'd sit in for a dental check-up. I felt chilled. The nurse told me to completely undress and slip on a paper shirt, open in the front, and to cover my legs with a paper sheet. I had trouble opening the shirt, and was dreading sitting in that odd chair as I was still bleeding and couldn't bear the thought of making a mess let alone being uncomfortably exposed. A few moments later the doctor walked in. He told me to set my legs in the calf clamps at either side of the chair. They were more like awkwardly positioned round metal tubes than easy leg rests. As I tried to sit as he instructed, a wave of insecurity washed over me. He pushed a button and the chair began to motorize and tilt backward. He pulled a light close, inserted a clamp, stretched me open and then began to poke at my insides. The pain was unbearable again. I was already consumed by layers of mental, emotional and physical anguish. The humiliation of the procedure along with realizing that I hadn't yet passed everything and would need further surgery completely broke my countenance. I couldn't help but mournfully and bitterly sob, upside down, barely covered in paper, foreign objects inside and with two strangers a foot length away. I was covered in grief.

Sam took me to get checked in to the hospital. We arranged for all the paperwork, had more blood drawn and my surgery was scheduled for 2:30pm. We went home for about an hour-and-a-half before returning to the day surgery unit. They prepped me with an IV and Sam I waited for an operating room to open. It turned out that two other surgeries before us ran in to complications which delayed my procedure by nearly four hours. In a way, I was glad to wait knowing that the others before us were being cared for so well. But, I was also weary of laying on an uncomfortable stretcher, hooked up to an IV pole and freezing. Finally, the time came. The anesthetist came to speak with me, then two nurses came with pre-surgery medication. A few moments later I was whisked to the OR where the anesthesiologist placed a mask over my face, and I drifted off to black silence. That was the last thing I remember prior to waking woozy in the recovery room. Sam was still by my side. He was always by my side. I love him so.

I was able to leave within a half hours time, and am glad to be back at home. I'm still hurting, though more mentally and emotionally than physically. My mom flew in yesterday and is here with me now. I'm so glad. My best friend Tami helped with Elijah, and picked my mom up from the airport while Sam and I were at the hospital. Tami, thank you for your friendship. You're so good to me.

And, Sam, thank you for being so tender toward me for every moment of the last four horrific days. You have made my love for you grow. Despite ailing from your own bout with bronchitis and being severely deprived of sleep, you have sacrificed continually for Elijah's and my comfort while ministering to our every need. You really shine as the hands and feet of Christ. I'm sorry for the loss of our child, but I am so glad to have gone through it with you. Your love, care, compassion and ministering have meant the world to me.

For anyone that might wonder, no I have never once blamed God nor been angry or upset with Him in any way for what has happened. This world is given over to sin, and sin has brought death ... not God. I know without question, and without hesitation that our loss was in no way God's doing, nor His will. However, I do know that our child rests in the arms of our Lord now and that we will see her in days to come. My Father has been of absolute comfort to me throughout this time. I've leaned on Him and He has covered me with His grace. This world is broken. He is not. Everything is right with Him and I claim victory and life in His name.

Thank you Jehovah Rapha for being my great Healer and El Shaddai, my All Sufficient One. I love you and praise you through this storm.

Job 6:10
Then I would still have this consolation—
my joy in unrelenting pain—
that I had not denied the words of the Holy One.

2008-06-27T01:28:00.011-05:00

I feel like I've lost my voice. The irony of those words just occurred to me because in truth I have lost my voice ... I've had laryngitis for over a week. So, quite literally, yes, I've lost my voice. However, that's not what I meant to convey. What I meant to say is that spiritually I've felt a bit lost. I hate to admit it, but it's true. I've felt like I've been on some wild roller coaster that bucked me out of my seat and tossed me to some far out limb of a tree. Though I've not been isolated, I have felt alone and betrayed by my own feelings. Now that I'm coming out of this spiritual wilderness Jeremiah 17:9 has renewed and powerful meaning: 'The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out.' I'm clinging to the following Verse 10, 'But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be.' I'm so thankful that God knows my innermost self, and that He can make sense of all that ails me. This has been a painful journey. I've felt all twisted up inside. Lost. Oh, how I hate that feeling. I've not been trusting in God. I've made room for the enemy to speak lies to my heart, and in it's deceit I was betrayed.

A large part of my demise is my own doing. I had over committed myself, especially at church. The capacity in which I was volunteering often pulled me out of service. I began to miss a large volume of pastoral teaching and longed for interaction with my Body ... the Body of Christ. Hebrews 10:25 calls us to 'not neglect meeting together ... to continue building one another up to love and good deeds.' This sanguine personality desperately missed that. I was missing my brothers and sisters and the building up that goes along with being in their company. Sadly, I had been volunteering in a ministry that really needed the support of many, but had the support of few. As the old adage of church ministry goes, '20% of the people do 80% of the work.' (Long sigh ....) I hate to even bring it up. It makes me feel critical to even mention it, but the truth is that many people don't step up to serve. Inevitably, that lack of support translates into an overworked, exhausted and eventually resentful 20% of people that really have a heart to serve. I'm so there. I'm exhausted, but thankfully not resentful.

My other hurdle is Motherhood. Another, long sigh. I soooo love my husband and my kids. Please don't get me wrong. The thing is that I'm tired! With two little ones and another on the way, two home businesses and a home to run ... who wouldn't be tired? I often don't get to bed till nearly midnight, get awoken twice or more during the night, and wake up exhausted already in the thick of the day's activity. I so long to be able to wake up before my family to study the Word and spend quality time with God, but truth be known, I'm just plain weary. Is it just me, or is there anyone out there that can relate? I'm in prayer throughout out the day, but time in the Word? That, I have to squeeze in when ever there's a spare minute. I often carry my Bible and current study with me where ever I go. This seems obsessive to my teen, but there are days when I don't know when I'll be able to study. If the opportunity presents itself, I'd rather be armed with the Word than be without it. So, I'll whip It out, praise God for the opportunity and drink in every thirst quenching syllable.

Every once in a while I feel like I have it figured out. I recognize that I've taken on too much. I recognize that my focus has been diverted from the One that matters, and the service to which I'm called. Often, I'll confuse my service to the church with service to my family and over extend. This is not to say that I shouldn't serve. That's not at all what I mean. What I mean is when the extent of my service to the church disables me from serving and caring for my family ... I'm out of balance and out of God's will. 1 Timothy 5:8 says, 'if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.' As I read those words tonight, they made me shudder. I saw myself and had to admit that I'd done it again. I'd let my family down by serving them less, and serving others more. Despite having good intentions, the effect of my actions was wrong. Why is it that so many of us feel torn between devoting a great deal of service to the church and a great deal of service to our families? I think the crux of the issue is that we miss the point. The Church is Christ's Bride. So, in serving the church we serve Christ. And, in serving our families, we serve Christ. It shouldn't have to be an either or scenario. We just need to put a stop to the enemy whispering into our ears that we're not doing enough, and that we should be doing more. 'Christ's yoke is easy and His burden is light', - Matthew 11:30. Service shouldn't wear us out and drag us down. It should be our joy. Raising children to love the Lord and supporting my husband as head of our house honors God. I've said it before, and own it again ... This Is My Season. Right now, I'm called to be matriarch of my family. Honoring God with my life, raising children to love Him and supporting my husband to be all that God has made him to be is my role. That is what I've been called to do. I think that because of the 80/20 situation at church, many of us feel compelled to step up and fill the gap ... but that's a huge need for so few to meet. Instead, let's pray that the Body would fully realize it's potential, that all of God's people will serve His kingdom, and that all will experience how truly light the burden of serving Christ can be. I wholly believe that if all of God's people engaged in His work, this whole 80/20 thing would be a thing of the past. We'd all be consumed with the joy of the Lord, brimming with glee, and glad to do His good work.

~~~

On another note, quite literally, this song has spoken wonders to my heart. It's titled 'Will Not be Moved' by Natalie Grant and is kind of an anthem of faith. Every time I listen to it I'm rejuvenated, excited and dig my heels a little deeper to stand firm in Him. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. It's better than a coffee and a coke! ;-)

2008-06-15T16:44:00.014-05:00

I can't believe that its been over two months since I've written. I knew it had been a while, but didn't realize exactly how long. The period in between then and now has definitely been filled with lots of ups and plenty of downs too. We're still coping with blended family life. Albeit, we're aiming more for blending than just coping. Anyone with me? ;-)

This past week while visiting in our small group at church, our Assistant Pastor, Sonny, asked the question if anyone had encountered problems with no seemly answers in the Bible. I immediately chimed in about problems inherent to blended families, when another lady followed me to say, "Jesus came from a blended family." Her words struck me with a jolt. Hmmm. So obvious, yet I never really thought of Jesus' family that way, but there is no doubt that He did come from one. James, had the ultimate Step-Dad in God ... lets talk about the perfect parent. I've thought a lot about her words since then, and they continue to resonate within me, as well as give me hope. Psalm 139:16 says, 'all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.' So, the same with Mary, mother of Jesus. God ordained all the days of her life before she was born, and knew full well that she'd be mother to a blended family. As I contemplate the thought that God also ordained all the days of my family, I find comfort in the fact that He has always known the struggles we'd face as we merge into one. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, 'we will not be tempted beyond what we can bear.' This reasoning gives me greater perspective and new hope. I have to admit that through the sometimes trials of blended family life 'He is continuing His perfecting work in each one of our lives' while 'working all things together for good .... because we love Him and are called according to His purpose.' - Philippians 1:6 & Romans 8:28.

With all that said, I have to give major kudos to my sweet Sam, Step-Dad to Connor and Daddy to Elijah. While his role is not an easy one, He is quick to lean on the Lord for understanding and tries every day to love both Connor and Elijah with the same father's love. Being a Step-Dad has presented him, and us, with many challenges. However, we earnestly believe that God has ordained our lives just as they've come to be and that He has a plan for Sam as he fathers our sons. There can be no doubt that we're all being stretched uncomfortably thin at times, but yet, I can't imagine where we'd be if not for the Lord to lean on. Thank you, Jesus.

Sam, thank you for being such a precious Daddy to our boys. Thank you for loving them as best you can and with all you have. Thank you for being so humble in admitting your need for the Lord's help in raising you up as Dad and head of our house. You set a fine example in always striving for the Lord's wisdom, understanding and even discipline when it's appropriate. I think the world of you and thank you sweetly for your daily sacrifice as you care for our children and me. All that you do will never be in vain. Continue to store up treasures in heaven. Continue to be the best Dad that you can, and continue to receive your Father's love as you walk in His. I love you. ~ Happy Father's Day

Connor & Elijah together in a mall photo booth ... April 29th

And, now to introduce ....

Baby Chadwell ... due in January 2009.

Psalm 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

2008-04-10T18:56:00.007-05:00

The New Sam

Sam cut his hair. Oh My. Yes he did. It's gone, gone, gone. In all the time we've been together, nearly seven years now, I've never seen him with short hair. On Friday afternoon just before he left the car for the hair dresser's he said, "I'm gonna get it all cut off." I gasped, then prayed, then waited.

When Sam came out of the salon my jaw utterly dropped, and yes, I totally gawked. I'm not normally speechless ... anyone who knows me can heartily vouch for my truthfulness. It's not often that I'm at a loss for words, but seeing my man without his locks, while realizing we'd never again share hair accessories ... that was too much. I couldn't do anything but awkwardly stare. And, of course, I had to pet him. Wow!!! He is soooo handsome!! His transformation was not only visible, but palpable too with a definite shift in demeanor. It's neat to see how such a simple thing as a haircut can make what's on the inside of person more easily come out. It's clear that more than just hair was shed with a stroke of that blade. He's a whole new Sam. I love you, Honey!!! You are absolutely amazing ... inside and out! ;-)

And, here's our super hero, Elijah!!

Grandpa Arno and Grandma Judy sent Elijah this completely adorable Super Man costume. It came with rippled abs, shotgun arms, and a flowing cape. Just prior to receiving this cool gift, Elijah had been developing a fondness for wrapping blankets around his neck and charging around the house. This would be cute, if not for his older brother having donned the same kind of makeshift cape at two, only to trip and nearly knock his teeth out. As I shared my worries with Mom, she and Daddy decided to give Elijah a real cape ... one that he couldn't trip on. I think they scored BIG!!

Isn't being two a blast?! Who can't remember pretending to be a super hero with gobs of muscles, a cape and super speedy boots? I loved to see him checking his look out in the mirror. That's a too cute cutie if I've ever seen one!

2008-03-30T14:53:00.024-05:00

Wow! I can't believe that it's been more than a month since I last wrote. Where has the time gone? Actually, I know right where its gone ... God, family, church and art!!! There's no way to possibly catch up on each day, but the highlights are completely do-able. Looking back on the last two months, it's clear to me that God has been working something out in my and my family's life. The road continues to be tough at times, but there's no better traveling companion than our Most High. 'Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.' - Proverbs 3:5-6

So, here's the deal. On February 3rd our church began a 10-week Beth Moore Bible study on Believing God. Anyone who reads my journal knows that I am a huge Beth Moore fan ... she is one of my all time favorite Bible teachers. We're just entering our final week of study and let-me-tell-you ... this one has kicked my rear!! I had no idea how intensely personal this study was going to be. Nor did I realize the scrutiny my heart, faith and hope would undergo as I would be challenged to believe God as I never have before. This one has turned me inside out, and it's been a spiritual battle all the way. I've come up against obstacle after obstacle during this period ... some with family, some with work, some with church, and most between my own two ears. But, every challenge has been real and every challenge has come with a nearly audible whisper from God urging me to hold on tight. This has been a ride that God has required every ounce of my attention to be poured on Him that I might not lose focus, and that I might be fashioned into the woman He'll require for the coming tasks ahead. You see, He's been giving me focus ... the thing I've prayed for with such urgency. I've been weary of being busy with no measure of progress. I want to know that if I'm investing this amount of energy, that I'm getting to where I'm going. I want to get to Gilgal. For those that might not know ... my most recent week of study centered on the Israelites first stop on their way in to the land that God had promised them ... Gilgal. It's not just a name of a place, but a name of a circumstance ... full circle. The Israelites had come full circle from a place of worship, to a place of depravity to a place of worship and VICTORY!!! They had gone full circle .. that's Gilgal. Full Cirlcle. I'm there. And, I know it!! God's fingerprints have been all over my life, even before I was saved by His grace, He's had me in His care and has prepared me for my promised land. I'm about to enter, and with His grace alone I will accomplish great and mighty things in His name. So what's this all about?

God's Perfect Plan!

If you've read my profile, or know my regular goings-on then you know that I'm heavily in to art. That's been my MO and has been for as long as I can remember. There were a lot of years that passed when I gave no hope to enjoying a career in art. I listened to too many voices that spoke their perspective into my reality that I'd not be able to sustain a living. I should be sad for so much lost time, but God has used it for good. I rejoice in what He has accomplished in me, and in what He has prepared for me to do. He's unfolding His good and perfect plan for my NOW, and I am ready to embrace it with eager joy, all out abandon and rapturous delight. I know what it is that He wants me to do. And, I'm filled with absolute zeal to accomplish it as His fellow-worker in Christ.

Coupled with this introspective study of God's presence in my life has also been the start of a new chapter of art. I'm teaching!!! I had been invited to teach a six-week art enrichment curriculum for a local homeschoolers group. I have taught a bit on my own, but nothing like that. I was in new territory. As I began, I felt God whispering again ... the lesson I had been simultaneously presented with in my study ... 'Will you believe me?' God was asking me to believe Him, to believe in the plan and path He had prepared for me, and to recognize that I had just taken my first steps along the way. In the midst of the class and study, God wrote so many truths on my heart. He was growing me up, and growing me in to the woman He'd always intended for me to be. I had no sooner wrapped up my teaching assignment when another opportunity became available. A new school was moving in to the area ... it's specialty: Art. The school is MAFA (Master's Academy of Fine Art). It teaches six different periods of history all from a Christian perspective and they all are complemented by relevant art, music and drama from the period. A sweet friend of mine made me aware of the academy and their need for teachers. I applied, of course. Interviewed, thankfully!! And, am now awaiting to learn if I will be among their teaching staff. Your prayers on the issue will be greatly appreciated. To top this venture off, I received another call from a second homeschooling group that asked me to teach for their regular semester. As well, I will continue to teach with the first group, and will offer a curriculum similar to MAFAs ... art through the ages.

In addition to the study and teaching, God has been working something else out in my heart. In the latter part of last year, a friend of mine approached me about becoming a nursery coordinator at our church. I wasn't sure about the position at first, but felt God's confirmation on the issue. As I've been involved in the nursery for the last several months, caring for mostly babies through two-year-old not so toddling toddlers, I've come to another realization. In practically every area of my life, God has been bringing me babies. I have so many children to love, squeeze, hug and hold and literally pour myself in to. God is so good. There had been a time in my life, after my divorce from Bryan, and feeling like I'd lost my first son, Connor - I felt just like the desolate woman in Isaiah 54:1. "Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband". I certainly do have a husband, and have had children, but there was a desolate time, before the birth of my second son, and prior to my first coming back into my life that I felt absolutely desolate of children. My heart broke with sorrow every day, and I dared not pray my heart's desire for another child, though God read my heart and both sweetly and surprisedly answered my unspoken request. Our God is so GOOD! I'm now overflowing with sweet children, and our God has been so generous to entrust them to me. He's trusting me with His own sons and daughters and what a privilege and honor it is. Thank you, Father. Your blessings are too numerous to count. I'm so grateful to You, for what you've done in my life. Thank you for redeeming this broken heart, and making it one that You can use.

2008-02-13T23:17:00.008-06:00

Okay, I've been in contemplative mode again. Thinking, processing, pondering and growing. Thank goodness, growing. I'm in desperate need to be more than I am ... can't even describe.

And, too, I've had issues ... all kinds of issues. One of which is that I found out I have a precancerous lesion on my lip. Yikes!! I'm very fair complected and thought it might be the 'Big C' when other therapies didn't resolve the problem. So, once confirmed, my dermatologist prescribed Carnac cream and said, "It's going to get worse before it gets better." Hmmm, I thought. What could she mean? Well, as I'm known to do, I sleuthed up some info on Carnac and found out that it is highly inflammatory and near toxic. Those who know me well know that toxins and me are not so friendly. If I can find a natural cure, I'm on it!! So, that's what I did. After much research, I found this site about natural cures for cancer. Yes, you read right: natural cures for cancer. If you're interested, click here. Through its pages, I found a cancer combating cream made with Raspberry Extract. It smells delicious, glides on beautifully, and would you believe my cancer is nearly gone with NO inflammatory or toxic affects. I'm thrilled. Praise God!! The cure is always in His hands ...!

So, here's the scoop on what else is going on. I'm currently participating in two Bible studies. They're both intense and I feel a bit like my mind has been scrambled. But, in truth, that's good. Some of this gray matter between my ears has been unjarred for so long that a healthy evaluation was both overdue and in good order. Have you ever been to the point when you wondered and asked, "God, are you hearing me? Are my prayers breaking the ceiling? What's going on up there? And, why am I not sensing you here, with me?" Of course, I do know that God hears my prayers, but sometimes that feeling of separation is unbearable. Admittedly, I've been checking out my closet, wondering what I might not have confessed, or what activities I might be engaged in that are keeping me out of His will? I've been thinking, "Okay, God, you're trying to get my attention. That part I know! But, please, give me some clarity here ... What are you trying to say??!!!" Ugh. Dense, dense, dense .... me .... not God. That should be a given.

So, here's the deal. From the title above, you can see that one of my studies is on Spiritual Gifts and Ministry. This has been an awesome read by David Lim. I've NEVER read a book with greater clarity on the gifts, and am overjoyed to be learning about the Holy Spirit in His fullness and what being filled with the Spirit really means. If you're a believer, it means you're equipped. And, not just a little. You are highly equipped, completely equipped, supernaturally equipped, and a force to be reckoned with. I'm now baffled as to why anyone in Christ would feel inadequate or powerless to be anything but powerful in any given situation. God has given us all that we need in the Helper, and He is our guide into all truth. - John 14:26 & 16:13. With that, my spiritual walk has been going through a shake down, or should I say shake up? That's my aim ... UP! And, way up. I want to be, crave to be, and will not stop until I am a highly effective witness, filled with the Spirit of God, and boasting of all His glory. I won't stop short. Praise God!!! Can I get an Amen?!

So, here's the next study: Believing God - Experiencing a Fresh Explosion of Faith. From my questions above, and wondering if God hears me, Ah-Yes, I am quite in need of a Fresh Explosion of Faith. I'm only in week two, but have already been fully exploded. I've been praying incessantly to be freed from a 'stand of faith' to a 'walk of faith' as Ms. Beth so eloquently puts it. I don't just want to Believe in God, I want to Walk with God. I want to be on the move with Him, knowing for certain that my steps are ordered to His will, that I am fully submitted, in line, and committed to living for Him. I'm realizing now that I've done a lot of meandering between 'standing-faith' and 'walking-faith'. It's time to get in sync. Life is short, and I don't want to waste a minute of it. And, till now, I've wasted so much. No more!

This week, God has not only heard my prayers, but has been answering them in droves. So, now, I'm confident ... YES! He hears me. Thank, God!!! Literally, Thank You God!!! What has He been showing me? Well, for one, that I am a theological thinker. I'm always thinking about God, the Bible, His precepts, my life, His will, everything. I've always viewed myself as a work-in-progress and tend to be very cerebral. And, that's the problem. A cerebral brainiac with obsessive theological tendencies is not what He's after. Remember Mark 12:30? "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." That's it. Love Him with all you've got ... with every ounce of your being, not just the 18 inches up top. So, what does that look like? And, what kind of transformation can this bring about in a week? A lot. Let me tell you. God has been showing me so many things, one of which I just touched on. I'll often learn a new concept or trait of God, and I'll examine it every which way until I can make sense of it. Then, I'll grapple with it a bit more till I feel like I really understand what He's showing me. But, it's in doing so that I've missed the point. God spoke to my heart and asked, "Instead of rolling Me around in your head, why don't you just ask Me about who I AM, what I think, and what I want you to do?" With that, I realized that I was leaving God out of the best part of the equation. It's only through Him that He is revealed and understood. So, why not go to the source? Why not let Him explain Himself? Ah. So much easier, so much more fun, and so much more rewarding. Now, that's walking in the Spirit! And, that's not all. He's been showing me the need to prune back on so many levels. I've realized that even two studies at once, is one too many. I don't need to feed my braniac mind, when I've got the Spirit of the living God residing within me, ready at all times to feed me the Truth. I already posses all that I need. I've realized as well, that it's not just all the studies. It's everything. I do too much!! I'm going insane!!! It's no wonder that I'm having trouble sleeping at night. I never have a chance to rest with all that I'm juggling. I've admitted that I'm called to a Season. Right now, my Season is Wife, Mother and Witness. God has given me a precious calling, and that is to be right where He put me, to bloom where I'm planted. I have a wonderful husband that I could so bountifully more pour myself into, as well as my precious children, and our house which I'm still trying to make a home. I'm called to be a blessing to them, to be a strong witness in building up my man, and nurturing and preparing my kids for their futures in Christ. THIS IS MY SEASON!! I've been duped into believing I have to meet other people's expectations. Most of which, I don't even know what their expectations are!! I just think I know, and then foolishly judge myself as not measuring up. How foolish is that? It's just a head-game. And, I'm not playing any more. I'm out. Who am I trying to please, anyway? God or man? - Galatians 1:10. I can't buy in to the stereotypes any more. Being a lover of Christ doesn't mean that I have to work myself into a tireless frenzy day in and day out. It doesn't mean that I have to meet every need that ever existed. It doesn't mean that I have to do more than I'm able to prove my worth. God says in Isaiah 64:6 that, 'all our righteous acts are like filthy rags.' So, what's the point? The point is: I'm doing too much! Though my intentions are good, my heart is not. My heart should not be divided this way. I should have focus, and that focus needs to be on Christ ALONE. He is the author and perfecter of my faith. - Hebrews 12:2. He IS building me up. He IS preparing me. He WILL accomplish His will through my life. And, it WILL be done at His appointed time. So, why am I always in a frenzy? Why is my life so chaotic and out of control? Easy. I've been a prime target for fiery darts. "...take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." - Ephesians 6:16.

I've been so busy managing the anxieties that govern my life that I haven't had a free hand to hold up my shield of faith! No more. I'm quitting the juggling act. For now, God's to-do list is short. It reads: 'Fear Me, and do all that I say.' - Ecclesiastes 12:13. And, what does He say? He says, 'Today has enough trouble of its own. Don't worry about tomorrow. Won't you just let Me take care of you? I'll do it better than you will anyway.' - Matthew 6:25-30, utterly paraphrased.

Throughout this past week, God has been giving me a glimpse of my life from His perspective. It's not been pretty. I'm out-of-control busy!!! I can't possibly love Him with my whole heart, soul, mind and strength when I'm bound up in the busyness of mediocrity. That's not me. I'm not mediocre. I've been called to excellence, and if there's one thing I aim to excel at, it's obeying God. Short. Simple. And, very Sweet. It's all about the One who called me. It's all about the Season, and recognizing that I'm not in it alone. He's with me, and I'm with Him.

I'm stepping out in Faith .... Hoo-Rah!!!

2008-01-31T02:03:00.000-06:00

I went blog surfing a bit tonight ...having trouble sleeping again. Aghhhh. Oh well. I found this post through another friend's blog and thought it too good not to share. Talk about raising the bar .... it's been raised. How much more can we model ourselves after Christ? This devotion will definitely make you think. Enjoy.

Greater Works Shall You Do
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman
01-30-2008

"Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders, and signs, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know." (Acts 2:22)

Jesus did all of His miracles as a man, not as God. Let that sink in. This is a profound truth that has major implications for you and me. It changes everything.

Pastor Bill Johnson writes: "Jesus could not heal the sick. Neither could He deliver the tormented from demons or raise the dead. To believe otherwise is to ignore what Jesus said about Himself, and more importantly, to miss the purpose of His self-imposed restriction to live as a man.

Jesus said of Himself: "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does (John 5:19-20)." In the Greek language the word 'nothing' has a unique meaning -- it means NOTHING. Just like it does in English! He had NO supernatural capabilities whatsoever!

While He is 100 percent God, He chose to live with the same limitations that man would face once He was redeemed. He made that point over and over again. Jesus became the model for all who would embrace the invitation to invade the impossible in His name.

He performed miracles, wonders, and signs, as a man in right relationship to God... not as God. If He performed miracles because He was God, then they would be unattainable for us. But if He did them as a man, I am responsible to pursue His lifestyle.

Recapturing this simple truth changes everything... and makes possible a full restoration of the ministry of Jesus in His Church. "[1] Jesus said you and I will do even greater works than He did. "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." (John 14:12-13)

The question for each of us is, "How dependent and obedient to the Holy Spirit are we so we can experience this same power?"

Feeling convicted? Good. Me too.

Live it out. Live it right. Live it for God!

2008-01-29T10:33:00.000-06:00

So, its been a while again. I'm taking a short breather from my day to try to catch up on all that's been happening in life. It's been a lot.

I still feel very much at the foot of the cross, more than I ever have before, and am enjoying my sweet Savior's presence and the truths He's teaching me. This has been an introspective, exciting and sometimes painful journey of personal growth. The Message translation of Philippians 1:6 says this, "There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears." I can testify that He's keeping at it in me.

Our family is still entrenched in all the hardship that comes with blending each of our four lives. Sam and Connor are two phenomenal people, both incredibly blessed by God in many ways. But, they don't at all have the intimate father-son relationship they both long for. Sometimes, it can be anything but peaceful in our house, but through it all, I am committed to bringing our family to the altar of healing. We're confident that God is able, and stand firm to wait on His timing. Sam and I especially acknowledge that our family has been knit together in just such a way, so that God may work out the impure, and work in the holy and righteous characteristics of himself. Some of the process is just plain bitter, hard and tiresome. But, then, there are the victories, the milestones, the happy moments that we can look to God and say, "Yes!!!! Thank you for your kindness and faithfulness toward us. We see You at work and praise your Name! Hallelujah!"

For me too, I've been praying to have every ounce of pride stripped from my life. For God, that's easy. I could feel His work immediately, but through the process I also became aware that having less pride didn't pre-qualify me for automatic humility. It's not an either or scenario. With that, I began to also pray that God would not only strip me of pride, but move me to a place of extreme humility. I prayed that He would 'make my words few' (Ecclesiastes 5:2) and that I would simply enjoy His presence and wait on Him for daily needs, guidance and grace. From the look of my blog, my words definitely have been made few ... on the outside. In my inmost self, there's a flurry of dialog going on developing me in to more of what He wants me to be, and less of the presupposed limitations of what I think I should be. It's easy for us to put God in a box. The thing is, He can't be contained. Can I get a Whoop! Whoop! Hallelujah!!!

Praise Him!!

Okay, on to the next thing, I have to give it up for our home church, Life Foursquare, and our Pastor, Cere Muscarella. Our family has matured more there in under a year, than we have in any other place of worship. Cere (pronounced Seary) is a phenomenally gifted teacher and absolutely sold out for Christ. He is all about equipping the saints to worship our Father, to know our purpose in serving Him, and reaching our communities for Christ. He sets a high bar, but then nurtures, encourages and supports us all the way to meet it. And, he's not alone. Everyone at Life is very much alive in the Spirit, active and purposed in their walk and service of Christ. This place, Life Church, is the most service oriented place we've ever been. People here really exemplify what it means to 'be a living sacrifice' and actively give their lives away for the sake of others. It's been both refreshing and inspiring to be in this fold. We love it!

Some of our staff and little people ... wonderful!

Cere and his wife Ann, too precious for words!

2008-01-18T01:56:00.000-06:00

I know I've been absent from writing for a while. A few of you have commented to me on that ... thanks so much for your thoughts and cares. You are such an encouragement to me. I so appreciate your kindness and nudging me to get back in the saddle. I said in my last post that God has been calling me to a time of quiet, simply to be in His presence, and grow in His truths. And, as is always the case, Father knows best. He's been teaching me some things that I missed in the first few go-rounds, and this time, they're really hitting home. Namely, none of this life is about me. While I've been given the gift of life, I am called to give it away, and to give it all to His glory. I love that in God's economy, giving myself completely is more a blessing than it is a sacrifice. The Devil tries to fool us into thinking that we're denying ourselves into a wasted, sacrificial life, that will be of no benefit at all - least of all to us. But, that's so not true. God is so sweet to bless us back a hundred times over for our faithfulness to Him. And, while we may not have expected the blessings in the way they come, they are always more than we could ever hope for ourselves. He gives what truly satisfies. He gives true happiness, true joy and true peace. He is the 'giver of all good things.' - James 1:17

At near ten to 7 o'clock tonight, the Owner of the Country Club where we work and live called to invite us to an on-site presentation. He simply said, "drop what you're doing and come quick. I've got a friend speaking tonight ... he's a Christian, and I think you'll enjoy what he has to say." Of course, we hurried out the door. We're always happy to hear what God is doing in people's lives. Only thing is, we had no idea who we were about to meet. My dad would probably know him, being that he's a former boxer and Golden Gloves winner himself. The man we met was Termite Watkins, called 'Termite' because his family business, starting with his Dad, was pest control. Only thing is, that's not what he's most famous for. He was an unlikely athlete that became the youngest ever National Golden Gloves Boxing Champion, who went on to an astounding professional career.

He started out the night by telling us that his story is a God story, and boy is it ever. Some of you have probably seen the headlines, that after 9/11 he felt a God call to serve our nation's troops. As it turned out, what they needed most at the time was an exterminator ... so off he went. One bug guy - in Iraq. After a short time there, his boxing talent was discovered. And that, coupled with his contagiously positive attitude and Texas charm, led the coalition to ask him to form an Iraqi boxing team to take to the 2004 Olympics, a seemingly impossible feat. Despite incredible odds, insurmountable dangers, and cultural rifts, he did exactly that. He is a hero. His story is one of perseverance, courage, dedication and love. He is without doubt a great example of what a humble servant submitted to the will of God can become ... the hands and feet of Christ. If you'd like to read more, check out his site here.

As I sat listening to him, I couldn't help to ponder the work that God's been doing in my own life. Since childhood, I've felt God's strong call to accomplish great and mighty exploits in His name. Sadly, I'm still waiting to get started, and certain that I've already missed many opportunities because of my own insecurities, doubt and fear. Thankfully, God has masterfully been working those bugs out of my heart, and I feel His leading and preparation for something big just around the corner. This time, I want to be ready. I want to be available, present to answer His call and fearless to do as He says. He's humbling me to be ripe, and right, for the moment.

After we returned home tonight, Sam and I watched a recorded message from Dr. Stanley of In Touch ministries ... another favorite preacher. In his closing remarks he referenced this verse in Romans. Here's the Message translation as it is especially clear. The verse is Romans 12:3:

"I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him."

Isn't that great?! It's not what we do for Him, but what He does for us. You see, God blesses a life that is fully surrendered to Him. I pray for you, and me, that we are encouraged to do the will of God, to be present in our every day encounters and to get to the know the people around us. Be deliberate. Let's pray for specific opportunities to serve, and commit to seeing them when they arrive. Let's be intentional as we 'offer our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God' - Romans 12:1 Each of our lives can be and should be incredible adventures, just like that of Termite Watkins, and so many others. God wants to bless us for our faithful worship and will reward us with abundantly beautyFULL, peaceFULL, joyFULL lives of grace. It already is, and I know will continue to be a wild ride. I'm so glad to serve our Great God, and that HE is in control!

Praise Him for being faithful to those He loves!

2008-01-14T08:16:00.000-06:00

I'm back!! It's been a while since I last wrote. My absence has been both intentional and not, partly due to the busyness of the Christmas season and also due to the Lord's leading to be quiet and to simply spend time with Him alone. He's been working on me and doing a good work I might add. I so adore Him and thank Him for the renewing of my mind and for instilling in me a sense of peace and calm. I so need that.

I'll warn you in advance: you may go into photo overload as you look over this post. My absence has also resulted in a deluge of unposted pictures, all too precious not to share, so share I must. I hope you enjoy. Happy New Year 2008!!

This is pre-Christmas!!

Elijah has a stock-pile of stuffed animals and dinosaur action figures. He figured that Rylee, our tired pooch, looked lonely and thought to surround her with his most treasured possessions.

Can you believe the heart of this dog? She is so sweet and patient with Elijah. Bless her heart, I wonder is she believes that being still will spare her from any unwanted advances or sudden moves ....

Here are some of our most precious friends that came to visit just before the Christmas holiday. On the left are Amy and Alyssa Leighton and on the right are Michelle and Rebecca Knaupp. These are four members of two of our most beloved homeschool families that have taken lessons from Sam for years. Thankfully, the Leightons still live fairly close by, an hour's ride from West Columbia. However, we were sad when we lost the Knaupps to Alabama almost two years ago. We miss them sorely. Both families are an incredible witness and strong testimony of living for the Lord. We always learn from them and are grateful for their tender hearts. So glad to see you guys!!

Getting ready for Christmas &
Grandpa Arno and Grandma Judy's Arrival from California!!

Time to decorate the Tree!

This is Elijah's first year to be able to help decorate. He and Connor had a ton of fun working together. As you can see, Connor took the top half and Elijah worked the bottom. Too cute!

Final adjustments!

Then next morning, Daddy and Elijah had worked up an appetite for hot chocolate!

Elijah was so fascinated with the tree and decorations. He went back to it every day to arrange the ornaments, and would often sort several on the same branch. Sigh..... What a joy to be two.

Here are Connor and Elijah loaded up for a Christmas Carolling Hay Ride with many of our Columbia Lakes neighbors. They loaded up on the back of a trailer and drove the streets, stopping along the way to sing their hearts out. We trailed behind and enjoyed the sights of the neighborhood lights and Christmas displays.

Connor and Elijah with their Jingle Bells!

Singing at the door of Ms. Mildred ... one the sweetest ladies I know.
She is a precious and darling woman.

Grandpa Arno!!!

I'm not sure if you can make it out, but he and Connor are tossing the football in our front yard.
I'm glad no one got sacked! Yikes!!

Generations ....

Up close .... I think Grandpa could use a Coke!

Of course, Elijah wanted to join in. He donned his Daddy's shoes, grabbed the pig skin and put on his best game face.

An Early Christmas.

Connor had been scheduled for a Christmas Eve flight to Missouri to spend the holiday with his grandparents, on his Daddy's side. So, we had Christmas a little early at our house. Here Grandpa Arno is holding up a card that Elijah had made for he and Grandma ... decorated with stickers and crayons. Sweet!

This is the card Elijah made for his Big Brother! I think it had extra crayon marks ... he's always trying to impress Connor with his skills.

Elijah enjoying a new bedtime book given to him from Aunt Becky. The outside cover and pages are soft, so it can double as a pillow too. Thank you, Becky!!

Elijah's first game .... Candy Land. Since opening it we've played a few times, but have yet to get all the way to the end. I'm sure it will take a few times for Elijah to make it all the way to King Candy.

We had given Elijah a Fisher Price Farm set. He loved it. But, maybe he loved the box more.
Hmmmm .... not sure.

Boy in the box!

Elijah and Daddy missing brother. They decided to check out his room and flopped on the bed with brother's football. Whenever Connor is gone, Elijah especially misses him and enjoys to spend time in Connor's bed. I think it takes the blues away.

Elijah's trying to reclaim his glasses.
They reminded Daddy of Elton John. Who can resist that?

Daddy and BooBoo on the court

Hanging out with Mr. Monts ... or Pops as we lovingly call him.

Elijah loves to read. He had pulled his books down from the shelf to surround himself, and then dug into his treasures.

Still at it...

And, still ready for a night time story too.
Sam is so tender with him ... always ready for his boy.

This darling little girl is River. She is the daughter of one of our dear friends from church. She and Elijah were playing at church on New Year's Eve. We all had gone for a letter writing ceremony .... we wrote letters to God for our New Year's aspirations, hopes and praises. Our Pastor will mail them back to us mid-year and assures us that we'll be rejoicing at the profound workings of God in our lives as we look back on His many answered prayers. I'm so looking forward to that!

Here are Elijah and Daddy honing up their Candy Land skills.

Hmmmm ... Elijah might be winning!

More court time with Daddy. It's such a treat that Elijah can spend so much time with Sam learning and doing the very thing that has brought his Dad so much joy.

They're ready for their match!

Sam has been taking Elijah fishing nearly every day too. Here is Elijah's Catch-O-The-Day!!
Pretty good for the little fella.

Yesterday, we took Elijah to see his very first movie: Veggies Tales' - The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!! It was such a sweet time and memory made for us all. Elijah had popcorn, M&Ms and was captivated for all 85 minutes! Amazing!! His only challenge was not to be swallowed alive by the folding theater chair. He ended up sitting safely in my lap. What a treat!

2007-12-09T08:14:00.000-06:00

Okay, so here's something else on my heart. What else is new, right? Well, this is the place to make it known. My journal ... my thoughts. This may be a sensitive issue to some, but I feel strong in my conviction, and thus am compelled to share. I'm so glad you let me!

This past Friday night, Sam, Connor, Elijah and I went to see the first of four productions of our church's Christmas musical. It was outstanding in every way. Elton Davis, our Associate Pastor and Music Ministry leader, wrote the play. And, don't get me started about the talent that exists within our church!! I had no idea that we had so many actors, singers, dancers, people teeming with effective enthusiasm, and who very capably share the good news of God. No eye was dry. It was intensely fun, gut wrenchingly sad, and pointedly focused. It was potent ... very, very potent.

When the play ended, and after we had opportunity to visit with friends, we left for home. Because of the strong witness we had just received, we all were in the mood and primed for a theological debate. To me, this is great fun!! Even Connor joined in. Sam and I were thrilled with his passion. However, somehow along the way our conversation turned to that of denominations. Whoa ... ! Hold it ...! I'm afraid I have to tarry on this one. When I explained to Connor that I absolutely will not call myself anything other than Christian, he said that I had to, that it didn't make sense not to ascribe to, or be part of a denomination. When I disagreed, we ended up going back and forth, neither seeing the other's point of view. Our conversation was not heated, but it was impassioned. It was so fervid that when we pulled in to our drive, Connor jumped out of the car, and as he ran into the house he said that he was going to research his theory and that he'd like to resume our talk shortly. I was game, so I waited and within about ten minutes Connor came out .... with his laptop. Get this ....!

He prepared a Power Point presentation for me!!!! Wow!!!

I was thrilled at his passion and the length he went to persuade me. That was really cool. However, I couldn't be persuaded. I am still just a Christian and saw no need to be anything more. Our conversation traversed well into the morning. In fact, we did not call it off till just after 1am and at that, we left it open 'to be continued ....'

Wanting to be armed with exact Scripture references and scholarly opinion I stayed up till 3am, praying for God to reveal to me in His Word, what the Holy Spirit had so intentionally convicted of many years prior. I paused, went to the Word, and spontaneously opened to Acts chapter 11. As I read, I didn't see the relevance. So, I closed and went back to prayer. Again, I was led to the Word and for the second time spontaneously opened to Acts 11. I'm thinking, "Okay. I get it. The answer is here." I read more carefully, and saw these words in Acts 11:26, "...so for a whole year Barnabas and Saul met with the church and taught great numbers of people. The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch."

Did you see it? The disciples were called Christians. This is the ONLY denominational term used in Scripture to describe followers of Christ. And, it occurs only three times in Scripture. It's interesting to me too that at the time of the disciples becoming known as Christians, they were witnessing to the Jews, God's chosen people, that He had also accepted the Gentiles (non-Jews) as His own, and that we ALL are united through Christ into one body. In fact, later in Acts 15:9 Paul said this of God, "He made no distinction between us and them, for he purified their hearts by faith."

In the same chapter we also see the first split inside the body of Christ. Check out this passage in Acts 15:36-41, "Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, 'Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing.' Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches."

Paul and John Mark had already disagreed. Their disagreement caused even greater conflict between Paul and Barnabas, which resulted in their parting ways. All three men were disciples of Christ. All three were Christians. All three were secure in their salvation. However, a division had occurred that caused two to split from the one. It is my opinion that this might be the first indication of a second denomination within the whole of Christianity.

My Matthew Henry commentary has this to say about the passage: "Even those that are united to one and the same Jesus, and sanctified by one and the same Spirit, have different sentiments and points in prudence. It will be so while we are in this state of darkness and imperfection; we shall never be all of a mind till we come to heaven, where light and love are perfect. That is charity [love] which never fails ... these differences often prevail so far as to occasion separations..."

To me, it's clear. Humans, in our sinful flesh, have caused divides that need not be. I'm not at all at odds with denominations. They're here, and they'll be here to stay till the day Jesus returns. For me personally, though, I cannot accept a label ... I cannot ascribe to any other name. I am a Christian. I recognize without doubt that there are many denominations that are sound in their doctrine that Jesus is Lord, and He is our only hope for salvation. I support my many brothers and sisters that claim a denomination within their Christian heritage.

Romans 8:16 says, "The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children." With that, the Holy Spirit has testified with my spirit that I am indeed a child of God. Too, I have personally been further convicted to not take on a 'name.' It's in my spirit that I am strongly resolved not to commit to any one, to any thing, to any denomination. I am committed only to Christ. I am a Christian first and a Christian last.

So, how did it end? Connor and I continued our conversation the next morning. I relayed all that I've spoken here. With that he saw my perspective that I don't need to be anything other than Christian. Likewise, I support him in any pursuit of Christianity no matter what affiliation he makes, so long that its doctrine is sound and that Christ the King is glorified. Hallelujah!!

God is GOOD!!

2007-12-06T18:16:00.000-06:00

I like the movies. Please don’t get me wrong. I am a huge movie buff. However, there is one movie that will be released this coming Friday that seems to be much more than simple entertainment. I’m writing to caution you, to make you aware, and hopefully to make you think.

Noah Webster defined ‘Allegory’ in his 1828 dictionary this way: “Allegory is in words what hieroglyphics are in painting .... an allegory [is] a figurative description of real facts.”

I find it important to make the point of what an allegory is, because it is my opinion that just as much as John Bunyan wrote the Pilgrim’s Progress, and C.S. Lewis penned the Chronicles of Narnia, both strong allegorical stories dealing with the Christian faith, I believe that Philip Pullman similarly crafted, the Northern Lights. The film I am referring to is the Golden Compass. It was originally titled, the Northern Lights, and is the first book in the trilogy, His Dark Materials.

While Pullman denies that his work is allegorical in nature, I have to emphatically disagree. You may have already heard quite a bit of stir over this film, and that it’s atheistic message has been smoothed over. That’s good. I hope that you have heard this, and I hope that it makes you think.

In an October 1998 article titled the Darkside of Narnia, Pullman wrote this about C.S. Lewis’ Narnia books, “But there is no doubt in the public mind that what matters is the Narnia cycle, and that is where the puzzle comes, because there is no doubt in my mind that it is one of the most ugly and poisonous things I've ever read.”1

At the 2002 Guardian Hay Festival, which celebrates literature and the arts, Pullman had this to add to his comments on C.S. Lewis, “I realised that what he was up to was propaganda in the cause of the religion he believed in.” 2

The story of the Golden Compass supports the idea that the Kingdom of Heaven should be done away and that a Republic of Heaven should be built in its place. When asked about this at the same Festival, this was his reply, "When it was possible to have a belief about God and heaven, it represented something we all desired. It had a profound meaning in human life. But when it no longer became possible to believe, a lot of people felt despair. What was the meaning of life? It seems that our nature is so formed that we need a feeling of connectedness with the universe. If there is no longer a king, or a kingdom of heaven, it will have to be a republic in which we are free citizens. We ourselves as citizens have to build the republic of heaven." 2

Kate Kelleway interviewed Pullman in October 2000. She captured his thoughts with regard to a speech he gave on the Republic of Heaven. Here’s an excerpt from her writing, “Earlier this year, he gave a remarkable speech called 'The Republic of Heaven' in which he succeeded in converting the words 'God is dead' into something positive. He refreshingly recruited Jane Eyre to his cause while giving Tolkien and C.S. Lewis the thumbs down for failing to salute the real world. He is not short of faith but it [faith] believes in humanity and in goodness, not in God. He believes we need this 'thing which I've called joy.” 3

Pullman’s Republic of Heaven Speech

"We're used to the kingdom of heaven; but you can tell from the general thrust of the book that I'm of the devil's party, like Milton. And I think it's time we thought about a republic of heaven instead of the kingdom of heaven. The king is dead. That's to say I believe that the king is dead. I'm an atheist. But we need heaven nonetheless, we need all the things that heaven meant, we need joy, we need a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives, we need a connection with the universe, we need all the things that the kingdom of heaven used to promise us but failed to deliver. And, furthermore, we need it in this world where we do exist-- not elsewhere, because there ain't no elsewhere."

"We mustn't have another king. Worshipping the wrong thing is going to lead to trouble, so we have to have a republic, by which I mean that we ourselves in this world here in the physical universe where we know we live have got to make it as much like the traditional idea of heaven as we can. By which I mean it's a place where we're connected to other people by love and joy and delight in the universe and the physical world. And we have to use all the qualities we have-- our imagination, our intelligence, our scientific understanding, our appreciation of art, our love for each other and so on-- we have to work to use those things, to make the world a better place, which it sorely needs making."

"I thought wasn't it a good thing that Eve did, isn't curiosity a valuable quality? Shouldn't she be praised for risking this? It wasn't, after all, that she was after money or gold or anything, she was after knowledge. What could possibly be wrong with that? ...The physical world is our home, this is where we live, we're not creatures from somewhere else or in exile. This is our home and we have to make our homes here and understand that we are physical too, we are material creatures, we are born and we will die." 4

Okay, so where am I going with this? By now, I hope that it is obvious. Unlike, Pullman who by his own words is of the Devil’s party, I am of God’s party. I am a child of God. He is not dead. He is alive. And, He will return.

The Golden Compass is without a doubt more than a film. Though Pullman may not own up to his trilogy as allegorical in content, quite simply, it is. However, unlike Bunyan and Lewis who have fashioned allegorical masterpieces to reflect both light and truth, Pullman has cleverly cloaked his own allegorical commentary to appear ethereally sublime, but it is not. It is based upon the darkness that is left when Truth is removed. Jesus is the Truth. And, the Truth is the Word of God. Should you take the Truth out of the Book of Life, what would be left would be a Book of Lies. The Golden Compass is just such a thing. “And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.” – 2 Corinthians 11:14.

Here are the Devil’s own words in Isaiah 14:12-14, “I will ascend to the heavens; I will set up my throne above the stars of God. I will sit on the mount of god’s assembly … I will ascend above the highest clouds … I will make myself like the Most High.”

I wonder if this is the Republic of Heaven that Pullman is referring to?

Please beware, use caution, and be discerning as you decide whether or not to see and support this film. I’ll say too that I think it’s interesting that this film is being released in 21 different languages, or at least, the film site is being marketed to as many.

As well, the Dark Materials trilogy has its’ own online encyclopedia, styled much like the widely used Wikipedia.

This IS more than just a film. It is critical that we are made aware.

But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. - 2 Corinthians 11:3

1

http://web.archive.org/web/20010628221443/http://riff.hiof.no/~steinabl/PULLMANLEW.HTML

http://books.guardian.co.uk/guardianhayfestival2002/story/0,11873,726818,00.html

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,638058,00.html

http://www.robotwisdom.com/jorn/pullman.html

2007-12-05T02:46:00.000-06:00

Wow!!! What more is there to say? I am so thankful for my fellow blogger and sister in Christ, Tamra Perkinson, who has turned me on to the ministry of Paul Tripp. I posted a few days ago about another book we purchased by him called, War of Words. That too, is a fantastic read. It is well worth anyone's time who feels compelled to reflect the love of God in their speech. It's plainly written, chock full of scripture and easily absorbed. Good, good, good.

Anyway, the book above, Age of Opportunity, is truly an answered prayer. My beloved and precious son, whom I absolutely love and adore, is a teen. And, while he is a really good teen, our family has not remained unscathed from the woes of teenage rebellion, hormones, and simply inexplicable behaviors. After an untimely episode with Connor, it wouldn't be an unusual sight for Sam and I to be seen scratching our heads, looking at each other and asking, "WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?"

I can't tell you the times that I have wished for a book of instructions on how to raise my son. I love the book of Proverbs, but even with that, I find that I still struggle for answers. I crave something that will really help us parent the heart of our son. That's the thing that Sam and I always say. We don't just want to parent for behavior, we want to parent the heart, Connor's heart and Elijah's too. But, alas, that is much easier said that done. In fact, when you say ... parent your child's heart ... it sounds easy. But, no, no, no .... not so much.

What Paul Tripp has done in this book is such a marvel. He has brought keen wisdom and insight, all soundly based in scripture, to teach parents how to care for their children's hearts. And, he graciously instills the need and skill for parents to get a heart-check of their own. He also exposes the error of a commonly held attitude toward our teens: the attitude of survival. How many of us have thought, "If I can just make it to twenty ... I'll be okay." But, honestly, who wants just to make it? The thought of it sounds so mediocre ... I can't even stand it. For people who were made in the image of God, mediocrity does not fit the bill. Quite frankly, it's unacceptable.

Mr. Tripp also encourages parents to embrace a new perspective. Instead of coasting in survival mode, why not view the trials of teenage life as an 'Age of Opportunity?' We can and should make the most of life's challenges and face them together with our kids, using every opportunity to help mold them into the people God has called them to be. I can't recount the times that God has spoken to me through some event or circumstance with my son. God is always teaching me something about myself and Him through Connor. My tender state of being both a child and a parent equips me to better understand the great, unending and abounding love God has for me. God never gives up. He never hopes just to survive us. And, nor should we hope just to survive our kids.

If we can't change our circumstance, let's change our attitude toward it.

If even the slightest bit of this resonates with your soul, and if you're struggling with teenage woes of your own, get this book. You won't be disappointed. God has truly ordained Mr. Tripp to speak a soothing and effective word in to the homes and hearts of many parents and their kids. I have been blessed, and I pray that many more will be too. Thank you, Father, for equipping Paul Tripp to accomplish this good work.

2007-11-28T16:58:00.000-06:00

My family and I will be leaving for church in about an hour's time, and I am actively preparing my mind to be in God's house. While reflecting on what great things He's done in my life, I felt strongly that I should share this story. It's one that I feel a bit vulnerable to reveal, but it's also one that I feel deeply compelled by the Spirit to tell. Perhaps there is someone who needs to hear it.

Romans 8:28 tells us that, "God works all things for good for those who love and obey Him." I believe with all my heart that God will never waste a hurt. And, while part of this story did account for many years of my own suffering, it ended with a triumphant blessing that I will gladly sing and shout to anyone who will listen.

The story is this: I was unfaithful to my first husband many, many years ago. While it still saddens my heart for having done such a thing, I can honestly say that I am free from the burden of guilt because I have accepted the free gift of God's grace and forgiveness. Galatians 5:1,13b say this, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery ... but do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature."

But, that's not at all where my story ends.

That act of unfaithfulness, as you would expect, did nothing but erode the foundation of Bryan's and my marriage which ended in divorce in October of 1996. Our son, Connor, was three years old, about to turn four, an innocent and impressionable age. We shared joint custody, and lived in separate Kansas homes until April of 1997 when my employer moved me to Texas.

I had no idea of the adversities I'd face in trying to be an active in-the-moment mom despite a difficult inter-state move. Bryan and I disagreed on how much time Connor could spend with me during the summers and holidays, and thus I ended up seeing my son less than I would have liked. We talked on the phone and exchanged letters, but for a mom who enjoyed kissing and hugging her baby at the start of each new day, the transition was layered with heartache and pain. I'd often wonder what he wore on certain days, what he ate, who his friends were, what his teachers were like, and how he was feeling about life. Not knowing the intimate details about my son's daily experience caused an immeasurably chasmic void, an ever present ache and a heaviness of heart. My identity had been wrapped up in being a mom, yet at the time, I was beginning to feel childless and depression was setting in. I felt despair for my son and for myself, and would often pray not only for God to reunite us but that some day I might have another child with whom I would never be separated.

If I can fast forward several years, seven to be exact, I married a fantastic and God fearing man, Sam. Even prior to Sam's and my marriage I knew that he did not want kids. But, I loved him and loved him enough to give my heart's desire of another child to God. I resigned to the fact that if it was meant to be, it would, and if it wasn't, it wouldn't. I also remember a specific night that Sam and I had climbed into bed, nearly ready to call it a night, but not before our usual time to read. We had been reading the Bible aloud and were in the book of Numbers. It was my turn to read and I will never forget the affect of this passage - Numbers 5:27, "If she has defiled herself and been unfaithful to her husband, then when she is made to drink the water that brings a curse, it will go into her and cause bitter suffering; her abdomen will swell and her thigh waste away, and she will become accursed among her people." I remember pausing, confirmed in my pain, sure that I would never have another child. I had been unfaithful to my husband and my womb had been cursed. The pit in my stomach returned. I was clothed in sadness.

Sam and I spent the next year really growing in our walk with God. We had just come off the heels of a wonderful experience at a local Bible college where we were trained in how to study the Word. We were on fire for the Lord and tried fervently to honor Him in all we did. Being remarried and enjoying a new life with my Sam and a joy-filled relationship with God, I had the sense that I was finally returning to God's will. I had long since repented of my sins, turned away and vowed to live a life that would prove pleasing to my heavenly Dad. I was learning how to listen to the Holy Spirit working in my life, and guiding me in to all truth - John 16:13. I had begun to experience the kind of peace that only God can provide, a peace that transcends all understanding. - Phil. 4:7.

Then, one day in early November 2004 a strange thing happened. I felt the Spirit heavy upon me pressing me to contact Bryan. It was one of the few times I remember such intense direction from the Spirit leading me to do the will of God. I felt God speaking to my heart telling me that I needed to send Bryan a letter right then, that it was urgent, and could not wait. So, I called Bryan, asked for his email address, and began to pen a Spirit led letter expressing my deep regret for what I had done, for my act of infidelity, for causing him pain and for the sin I had committed. I forgave him for hurts that had been caused in me and asked for his forgiveness for hurts that I had caused in him. It was completely without pretense, and rooted in the grace of God, to forgive and gain forgiveness. Within in the hour, that's exactly what happened. Bryan graciously forgave me, absolved my guilt, and restored our friendship. It had been a new beginning, and God's fingerprints were everywhere. Wow!

Later that same month, on November 30th, I found out to my utter surprise and shock that I WAS PREGNANT!!! God had answered my prayer and provided me with the deepest desire of my heart, Psalm 27:12, the very thing that I gave up asking for. He restored to me what had been lost - Joel 2:25. I was in complete awe of God's grace, for the work that He had done in our lives. I was seeing His perfect will unfold before my very eyes, and understood that He had removed the curse from my life. Numbers 5:28 says, "If, however, the woman has not defiled herself and is free from impurity, she will be cleared of guilt and will be able to have children." I believe with all my heart that Elijah, my second son, is a miraculous gift from God, an answered prayer, and a reward from the Lord. - Psalm 127:3.

Four months later through a tragic event, Bryan passed away. He suffered a major heart attack and died on March 24, 2005. Because of his passing, Connor came to live with me again. He was back under my roof. We were together again, and I'd never for another day have to wish him an inter-state kiss from afar. He was home, and so was his Dad. That March had been such a bittersweet time for us all. Connor lost his Dad, I lost a friend, but he gained his eternal reward with his Heavenly Dad. It's hard to wish a person back from heaven. Instead, we look forward to a time together, when there will be no more tears, no more mourning and no more death. Hallelujah for our Great God!

And, thank you, Sam, for being everything that I need. You are a husband who loves with Christ's love, who cares with Christ's concern, and who sacrifices daily for your family's needs. Thank you for all you do, for all that you are, for loving that you're a dad, and for being my good a perfect gift from above. - James 1:17. I love you!!

2007-11-24T21:14:00.000-06:00

Elijah said the blessing for this afternoon's meal. He's been practicing praying and this is what he said today, "Thank you God. Thank you God for Daddy, Mommy and Connor .... and for Puppy and Kitties and Moo-Cows and Deers and Ostriches. In Jesus' Name, Amen."

Sigh.

2007-11-24T08:02:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving Day!!

Elijah and Connor playing ball in the yard

My precious boys

Hugs & Love

Sam enjoying some R&R while creating a new BBQ page on his website

Check it out!

A Turkey slow roasted to perfection!!

Yum!

Our delicious feast!!

Despite inviting friends and family, we celebrated Thanksgiving on our own this year. It was a relaxing, completely non-stressful day, highlighted by the heavenly aroma of favorite Thanksgiving treats. Number one on our list of Gratitudes is our gratefulness to God for His bountiful blessings and saving grace. Amen!

2007-11-24T06:41:00.000-06:00

We offered another multi-activity camp for the Thanksgiving holiday to include Tennis, Golf, Fishing and Art. Everyone seemed to really enjoy it - including us! It was a fun, fun day. Thanks to David, Brad, Aaron, Tina, Gretchen, Robin and Nicole for all your help. You made it an extra-special day. Thank You!! :)

Emily practicing a backhand

Her sister Alison doing the same

Katie, Rebecca, & Alfred

Aaron & Sam

Sam & Brad along with our tennis campers

Our Golf Pro, David Garver, giving Will a few tips

Everyone on the green

Some one on one

Working on a new grip

Blessing our Nachos and Pizza

The Pink Ladies with a splash of Orange!

It was a little windy, but still a good day to fish

Danielle

My project supplies

Final creation - just in time for Turkey Day!!

Hannah tearing papers to decoupage her styrofoam ball

for the Turkey's caboose

Sisters Alison & Emily

Me instructing how to install the base for our Turkey tail feathers

Finished creations

A beaming Emily with her feathered friend

Julianna with Mom, Tina - all smiles

With that came a close to a very fun day. Thank you again to everyone who came and to all who helped. We appreciate each of you and thank you for making our holiday a special treat!

2007-11-21T08:45:00.000-06:00

Freshman Connor - 9th Grade!!!

Connor's Freshman school photos finally arrived. Yay!!! He actually likes his photo this year. Wow! That's a pretty big deal too. Last year, he said that the camera man made him laugh at an untimely moment, and thus resulted in an awkward photo. You know, the kind that most of us probably walk around with pasted to our driver's licenses, with either our eyes half shut or in mid-word. Hah hah! Anyway, I'm glad that he's happy with it and that he's actually looking forward to when yearbooks come out. I didn't realize this, but last year he was pained by his less than becoming photo and dreaded his classmates seeing it. Ugh. Fifteen is such a hard age.

You may have noticed in the latter part of my post two days ago that I'm in the midst of reading a book about teens. It seems so weird that despite Sam and I having been teens, obviously - duh!, that we have trouble recalling all our own teenage years and all the angst that went with them. The book I mentioned, Real Issues Real Teens, is a phenomenal read and does a superb job of both comparing and contrasting teen years from then to now. Through amazingly candid interviews with teens, the author, Suzanne Eller, successfully bridges that gap and helps parents to understand what our kids are thinking and being exposed to daily. She was able to talk with hundreds of kids that honestly answered questions about why they do or don't talk with their parents, what they wish they could tell them, stressors in their lives, what goes on in their schools, their fears, and what kinds of disciplines work and those that don't, and so on. Some pages have affirmed me, and others have made me gasp in near horror. Suffice it to say, our teens are getting more than an academic education when they're away from home. It is paining me to learn what really is going on in this upcoming generation, what they're being exposed to, and how lonely they often feel. I can't help but think of today's society and the world our kids are coming up in. It makes me think of 2 Timothy 3: 1-5, 'Don't be naive. There are difficult times ahead. As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They'll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they're animals. Stay clear of these people. - The Message.

We as parents can do a lot to help them. We need to be involved. We need to be approachable. We need to make time. We need to listen. We need to be consistent in our love and our discipline. We need to be real and live the kind of lives we want them to lead. And, most of all we need to love God, each other (Moms & Dads), and them. What we need is Jesus. Oh, help us Jesus! We need You!

2007-11-20T08:26:00.001-06:00

Yay for Natural Remedies!!

Sam and I have been becoming discouraged by a yucky bronchial/cold bug that's recurrently plagued Elijah over the last six months. We'd take him to our family doctor, have an antibiotic prescribed, he'd get better, and then within a two-week period he'd succumb to the illness again. It was as if he had never truly been fully recovered. As well, we've been worried about the affects of him consuming too many antibiotics, both for him developing an immunity to them, and for their diminishing quality of his own immune system. So, finally, I decided to go a holistic route and visited a nearby health store, not GNC, but an actual health store. I told the lady working there what we'd been dealing with and she recommended these two products.

This is Dinosaurs, Dino-Dophilus, by Kal, for kids.

It is a pro-biotic, meaning it works to restore Elijah's immune system from all of the damage done to it by many antibiotics.

And, this is Sambucol by Nature's Way.

It's an all natural treatment for kids made with Elderberry, Echinacea and Propolis

I gave both of these products to Elijah last night, and neither Sam nor I can believe how much better he seems to feel this morning. His fever is gone, his congestion and goopy nose are diminishing, and he seems to have a lot more energy. WOW!!! We're so glad for God's plan to take care of us through His great design in nature. From now on, we're sold on looking to natural remedies first, and will consider antibiotics as a last resort.

2007-11-18T02:19:00.000-06:00

A Woman's Heart: God's Dwelling Place

My sweet husband, Sam, has blessed me with a lot of time to work this week. I'm so thankful. THANK YOU, BABY!!! And, while I've made full use of that precious gift, I've still not been able to write. Rather, I've had to prioritize those precious moments to accomplish what's most pressing and that has been the completion of my ten-week Bible study, as well as developing a six-week art curriculum that I'll teach in the coming months. Whew. My study is done, and my curriculum ... almost. Yay!!

So, I can't help but savor this bittersweet moment, another end to a fantastic study. It's bitter because I can't stand the thought of not pouring over these pages every day, soaking up blessing after blessing in God's Word. And, sweet, because of just that, Growing. I can't express what a gift and treasure the Bible is to us. As one of my friends just said today, "Anyone who thinks the Bible is just a book is wrong; it's so much more." True, true. It's everything, simply everything.

This image is a model replica of what the Tabernacle looked like so many years ago. As I said in a previous post, I used to dread the pages in Exodus that described every tedious detail of how the Tabernacle should appear, followed by similarly tedious detail of it actually being constructed. I used to dread it because I didn't understand what I was reading. It was kind of like reading through a lengthy genealogy and wondering, 'What's the point to this, and what can this possibly mean to me?" As always, God is sure to thrill. Just prior to coming out to write this evening, I was laying in bed thinking of how significantly special this particular study has been. I've completed a number of studies in the past, and have been greatly blessed with new knowledge and understanding. But, this one has been different. It's changed me, done a work in my heart. Something supernatural has occurred, and as cliche as it sounds, I will never be the same. In my next few posts I plan to share why this structure was so meaningful, the symbolism behind it and its contents, as well as some personal insight I've gained along the way. For now, suffice it to say that it is simply a masterpiece, a gem like none other, rich in meaning that does affect our lives today, and incredibly romantic. It is without a doubt a love story come to life.

With the end of this study, I've taken to two books that I'm reading simultaneously. No, I have zero time to lounge on the sofa reading to my heart's content. But, these books are important because we need a change. We're still struggling with the whole blended family issue and at the heart of it is our need to change the way we talk. You know the saying, 'If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you always got.' Well, I'm tired of doing and getting the same things. So, in the wee hours of the night you can imagine me hovering close to a dimly lit light trying to steal time from sleep to get smarter. I need something new. We all do. This book, War of Words by Paul Tripp, and the one below, Real Issues Real Teens by Suzanne Eller, both came highly recommended and I'm happy to be reading them together. They seem to complement one another well, and I'm already reaping the benefit of a new perspective. I can't wait to finish and give you a final report. In the mean time, would you mind to pray for us? Please pray that we are the parents that God has called us to be, that we would offer love, grace, mercy and patience out of God's eternal supply. Please pray that we would be sensitive to the world that Connor is living in, and understand that he, probably more than us, is going into the darkest trenches of this world everyday. Please pray that our encouragement would out way our criticism. Thank you.

2007-11-11T21:33:00.000-06:00

Okay, I know that this is a weird photo. But, there's a story to this .... really.

Being that we're Texans, and that in Texas we LOVE Mexican food, we all are fond of everything Mexican. Burritos, Enchiladas, Fajitas .... you name it, we love it! Because of this, Elijah has naturally been indoctrinated into this wonderful feast for the buds, taste buds that is, and has grown quite fond of the art of making tacos. Two mornings ago I heard Sam ask Elijah if he could make him some eggs for breakfast. And, without hesitation, Elijah responded, "NO!! I want taco!" Hah hah. If you can summon the image of a pair of two-year old hands stuffing a tortilla, then tucking and rolling it's contents into a perfect tube of food, you would be privy to a common sight here at the Chadwell house. Elijah loves anything with tortillas, and anything with tortillas is automatically dubbed a taco.

So, tonight after I bathed him with Daddy sitting nearby, I pulled Elijah from the tub and began to wrap his hooded towel around him. Daddy exclaimed, "Look Elijah! You're a taco!" Elijah replied, "No Daddy. I not a taco. This is my towel!"

I next transported Elijah to the changing table in his room. As he laid there, I gently unwrapped his towel to get ready to smooth on some lotion. As I did this, goosebumps broke his skin and in a shiver Elijah yelled, "Momma, roll me like a taco, roll me like a taco!! I cold!!" Hah hah!! Too funny.

That will definitely be one for the memory book!

2007-11-11T14:28:00.000-06:00

Here's a collage of all sorts of photos from the last couple of weeks.

Lots of stuff going on!

One of Connor's science projects.

This is a model of a cell. He got a PERFECT score - of course!!

He also brought home a school progress report studded with all A's.

Whoo-hoo!!

Halloween night, known to us as HallowOne. We don't observe Halloween, but we do like to support our church outreach and it's efforts to provide a Christian alternative to an otherwise dark holiday.

According to Noah Webster's 1828 Dictionary

Hallow:
To make holy; to consecrate; to set apart for holy or religious use; to reverence; to honor as sacred.

One:
Jehovah God

Thus, HallowOne!

At home before headed to church, my Little Pony!

Hangin' with Dad

Our church had tons of activities planned for the families that came. They fed well over 1,500 people, offered indoor and outdoor games, and all sorts of activities for every age. Too much fun!!

Ball Pit!

My friend Salina and me!

Digging for treats!

Waiting for Cotton Candy!

Yum!!

We ventured to Houston after church last weekend to attend an Open House at one of our favorite Christian radio stations, KHCB. From left to right are Elijah, Sam, Connor, Bruce Munsterman, and me. Bruce is the main radio personality for the station. Very sweet! We were happy to meet him.

Making music with Daddy.

Elijah wanted to accompany Sam's trombone with some drums.
Are these two adorable or what?!!

Jam Session!

I baked homemade sticky buns yesterday morning.
They turned out pretty good.

Just ask Connor!!

Check out those pearly whites too!! He just had his braces removed on the 1st. Oh, Happy Day!!

2007-11-06T15:39:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine just sent this video to me. I'm so glad. Thank you, Dina!!

I don't follow secular music much. I mostly listen to Christian radio such as KSBJ or KHCB, which you can listen to online if you're not in the area. Check out either http://www.ksbj.org or http://www.khcb.org/ if you're interested. Anyway, when I clicked on the link I had no idea that I'd be moved the way I was. In fact, I still have a burning lump in my throat ... I'm sure it will be aching for a while. As my friend said, prepare to be deeply moved or deeply disturbed, respective to your relationship with God and His sweet, sweet Son, Jesus. I pray that many will be moved, and moved closer to Him because of this touching song and film. Have tissues on hand.

2007-11-04T22:41:00.000-06:00

The last two weeks have been the most transformative and freeing of my entire life. I'm so excited, I hardly know where to start.

The most logical place to start though is with prayer, that is, answered prayer. Don't we serve an Awesome God? I'm so in love with Him, I hardly know adequate praise to offer. This is especially true as I'm writing on the heels of the most blessed two weeks of my life. I have been set free. In John 8:36 Jesus said, 'If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.' I told Sam that I now have greater appreciation for one of my favorite Bible teachers, Beth Moore, and why her ministry is called Living Proof. She is living proof of what it means to be set free, and now I am too. I've been saved for a long time, but free ... now that one has been a long time in coming. However, today, I am changed. I am free. And, I am so exhilarated I could nearly burst. All I can stand to do is proclaim His saving grace, His awesome power to heal, His great and abundant love, and His ability to 'set the captive free.' - Isaiah 61:1

I told a good friend of mine a couple of days ago that despite being a confident person, I have been a slave to fear and insecurity for years. It's been a debilitating path and for way too long. It's been hard to conceal my misery, almost akin to paranoia. I felt completely isolated, inferior to everyone, and often doubted my interaction with people after we parted company. I would be consumed with negative thoughts and would question my actions and words over and over and over. I was exhausted, depleted and demoralized ... nearly rendered completely ineffective.

So, what caused me to finally give this thing up?

God.

I have felt a tremendous call to ministry. Anyone who knows me at all knows that I love to be buried in the Bible. At present, I have a PC Study Bible open on my laptop with a Strong's Bible Concordance, Matthew Henry's Unabridged Commentary and Vine's Expository Dictionary strewn across my desk. To say that I love God's Word, and studying the mysteries therein would be an understatement. I am obsessed with Him. And, what better obsession than God? Tell me please, what could possibly be better?

As this call to ministry has taken root in my heart, mind and spirit, I've grown more accustomed to the idea that this IS what God is calling me to do. I've also come to terms with the fact that I'm hindering God's ability to use me by harboring sin. I've been a slave to pride! It's for fear of becoming vulnerable and admitting my fear and insecurity that I've not been able to move forward and be used by Him. Finally, I had enough. I began to pray in earnest for God to remove every bit of pride from within me. When I could sense that God was freeing me from that bond, I felt free to ask some of the prayer warriors in my life to pray specifically for me to be released from fear and insecurity. I told them that I felt that God was calling me to ministry, but that I was being held back.

During that time, I ordered a DVD set from Life Today ministries. James and Betty Robison host this wonderful daily program for which again, one of my favorite teachers, Beth Moore, has a weekly segment. The set that I ordered contained five of Beth's messages, each an hour long, and one that dealt specifically with overcoming insecurity. When my order arrived, I was blessed to have received a free gift - though priceless in my estimation. It was Betty's biography and account of her own battle with fear and insecurity. Wow!!! What an amazing story! To read Betty's account has been like reading my own. While I would never wish such a bondage upon anyone, I am incredibly thankful that Betty has put her testimony to print to encourage, motivate and inspire others to seek God's grace. Thank you, Betty!!

With all this said, all that I can do is praise and worship, fall down flat on my face and Thank God for delivering me from this despair. I have been set free, and He has begun to work wonders in my life. Since praying for myself, and having others interceding on my behalf, I have experienced more joy, freedom and happiness than I ever thought possible. Believe me, being married to the most adoring man in the world, and being blessed with two boys (one thrill after the other), I never imagined that my life could be this full.

As I've been continuing my study of God's Tabernacle, He has enhanced my study time and has blessed me with insight into scripture that I never believed I would achieve. I can feel a peace within my soul, a rightness of where I am and in what I'm doing. I am living and experiencing the will of God. Isaiah 26:3 says of God, 'You will keep the man in perfect peace whose mind is kept on You'.

1 Corinthians 2:9

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"

I can't wait to share what I've discovered, but that will have to wait till next time. It's 12:30am now, and on the day of Daylight Savings and a 6:00am alarm, I think its time to call it a night.

Thank you friends, for your prayers. I love you!!

2007-10-26T09:29:00.000-05:00

My husband has significantly blessed me this morning. He has given me the precious gift of time. I often wonder if other people's lives are as hard as ours? On the tip of me saying that, I can't help but think of so many people that have it harder than us ... a twinge of guilt is setting in. Sigh.

I know it's not at all right to compare our life to anyone else's. I know that such a thing breeds contempt and envy, so when the temptation comes to mind I try to dismiss it as quickly as it came. But, sometimes its not such an easy thing to do. When we see other people with normal hours of work that have a regular nightly time of togetherness, I want that. When holidays come and people set about relaxing in lazy days and enjoying time off, we're usually in our busiest throws of serving the recreational crowds. When we see our friends that can drop their kids off with relatives to enjoy a night or weekend of romance, I want that too. But, none of that has been or seems to be in our future deck of cards. Our lives are very different from the people around us. We always seem to be in go, and the meaning of rest is a nebulous and far off concept, completely intangible and perpetually out of reach. Who would have known that life would be like this?

As I'm taking in my own words, I can't help but breathe in the heaviness of their tone. Sometimes, like last evening after days and days of seemingly not having even two contiguous minutes for a solitary thought or moment alone, I am overwhelmed and utterly exhausted. That's why this morning is so special to me. Connor is off to school and Sam has taken Elijah with him for a long run of errands. I'm at home alone in a blissful state of silence, hearing nothing other than the type, tap, type, tap of keys. It's when I get a reprieve like this that I almost don't know what to do with myself, or where to start. Time alone, and time to be quiet is foreign .... very, very foreign.

So, it's just now 10am and I've had a wonderful three hours of quiet ... nearly unfathomable. I've been engaged in my Bible study, my favorite activity and enjoying a sweet time with God. I'm behind in my lessons and hope to catch up before our group meeting on Monday. In times before when I've not been able to keep up, I've simply doubled or tripled my days of homework into one study period. However, I've found that more difficult to do in this study. In fact, I just don't want to. The material is so dense and fascinating that I want to let it soak in and 'take', if you know what I mean. I haven't wanted to absorb it all at once ... it's too precious to rush. I want it to linger and become part of my person. That's what it means to hide the word in your heart, to hide it, hold it, keep it, treasure it, dwell upon it, soak in it, and meditate. Anyone who knows me knows that I often quote Amos 8:11-12, 'the days are coming," declares the Sovereign LORD, "when I will send a famine through the land - not a famine of food or a thirst for water, but a famine of hearing the words of the LORD.' A famine of the Word of God freaks me out more than any other imaginable calamity. I cannot imagine a day when we won't so easily access the Words of our Most High God, but He assures us that such a day will come. So, for me, hiding away His living and active Word (Hebrews 4:12) is no small thing.

I wonder too if anyone else is sensing the approach of an impending cultural quake. Sam and I watched a program on TV the other night. It was an episode of Frontline and a documentary of relations between the US and Iran .... very interesting. During the program a news reporter described the mood of expectancy like this, "it's almost as if you can hear a drum roll in the background ... something is going to happen." True, true - something IS going to happen.

I have the BBC world news set as the homepage for my laptop, and whenever I have a moment to glance at the headlines, I am continually amazed by the recent and rapid changes in world events. The world is changing ... moment, by moment, day by day. I can't speak for others, but from my point of view, and being familiar with Bible prophecy, watching world events unfold is almost like seeing a very familiar storybook come to life. My mind's eye has already assigned every subtle nuance and graphic detail to this story's characters, places and events, and watching them take literal form is a bit surreal. It's kind of a deja vu, if that makes sense, seeing something come to fruition as though you've seen it before. It's times like these that I am especially thankful for God's Word, while living in this violent world. Matthew 24: 6-8, 10-14 say this, "You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places ... At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come."

Knowing that the end will come, and that I and my family will be saved because we have believed in Jesus as the One and Only with the Power to Save brings me great peace and comfort. I certainly don't condone the anguish of many thousands of people that are suffering in the world today, but I am eased to know with absolute certainty that with Christ their and our suffering will not have been in vain. There will come a time of endless gladness, joy and peace. There will come a time of everlasting health, security and provision. There will come a time when we will reside in our Father's house, when we'll be home, forever in His arms and forever glad. Praise Him!

2007-10-24T14:38:00.000-05:00

Despite only being three in the afternoon, today has already been the sort of day that will be uniquely treasured as one of the most memorable EVER!! My sweet friend, Danyel, organized a play date for several of us Moms and our little people to visit a Pumpkin Patch hosted by a local church. Our time there was enchanted to say the least. I'm posting what to you may seem like a gazillion photos of the event ... so sorry!! Proud Mama - you know. Be forewarned that more may be coming. All of us Moms have agreed to share our pictures with one another, and I can only imagine that I'll be gushing again with even more profound joy and glee!!! Wow!!!

Beautiful Keagan flanked by our two Elijah's

Elijah loved the Pumpkin Patch!

Elijah & Elijah

Don't you know that this was a feat?

Trying to capture these wiggly toddlers at one time was not easy!!!

But, how worth the effort!!!

Cute, cute, cute

Brayden on top, Elijah in the middle & Elijah in front

Heather & Brayden, My fabulous friend and her little love

Is this not the most darling little girl?

This is Mia ... and every bit of precious!

Elijah & Me ... Yay!

Elijah is not one to readily pose for pictures, but when he saw this farm scene he jumped in!

I'm just glad I was quick enough to snap it.

Elijah & Brayden

Taking a ride in the Radio Flyer wagon with little Luke in between

I love this photo!!

The two kids behind the wagon are Mia and Elijah, brother and sister.

Can you tell that they're hams or what?! Two cute cuties!!

At the park decorating pumpkins. Elijah is trying to glue on an eye. :)

Our assembly line

This is Danyel giving Elijah his choice of feathers for his pumpkin.

By the way, darlings Mia & Elijah belong to her.

What a bunch of silly mugs!

Playtime in the park!

Sliding!!

Thanks Danyel, and all my buddies for such a sweet day with you.

I love every one of you richly!!

2007-10-19T21:09:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted any photos for a while, so I thought it would be fun to catch up and bring you all to date. Hope you enjoy!

Sam often takes Elijah to the tennis shop for a couple of hours nearly every week. Not only does their time together offer them some special 'Daddy & Me' time, but it affords me some much needed time to catch up on admin and art here at the home front. Have I mentioned what a wonderful husband and Dad Sam is? He is simply the BEST!!!

Elijah playing on the play set behind the tennis center courts

Elijah preparing for the big dip!

Elijah & Connor at church ... our favorite home away from home!

At the zoo!

Is this sweet or what?

Connor looks so tall and Elijah looks so small.

Checking out the tortoises and alligators under water

Making new friends at the petting zoo

Connor and Elijah at Chili's

waiting for a table after a great Sunday church service

My honey and me

Elijah with all his favorite things:

Nemo Overalls, Giraffe Hat and a Bouncy Ball

At Connor's game this past Thursday. He's number 25 waiting to go in. Connor made a great play just prior to this shot ... wish I had captured that. His coach told him it was the best play of the game. Wow!! Way to go!!

Big Brother's Cheering Section

Today was the first day we offered a multi-activity event for our local home school community. It was a great success with lots of fun. We offered Tennis, Fishing, Golf and Art. Here's coach Sam with his apprentice in training ... Elijah.

David Garver is our Head Golf Pro here at Columbia Lakes.

He offered his time and talent with this special group of kids.

Here are the kids fishing at the lagoon, also behind the tennis center.

Can you believe the beauty of this place? We're so blessed.

Elijah's first time with a fishing pole .... learning with the best!

Alfred Ricks attended my art class today too. I really enjoyed him.

What a sweetie!

Here I am helping Tarin with her work, along with Danielle, Abby and Alfred. We painted wide edge photo frames, and inserted handmade metal art crafted from soft pewter. The kids designed all their own work.

Abby and me

The end of a very fun and productive day. Here's a huge thanks to fabulous 'Brad Burt' - the tall handsome guy on the left. He helped Sam and I pull off a great camp. Thanks Brad!!

2007-10-18T13:31:00.000-05:00

Prayer Request, Please!

I'd like to ask for prayer for my husband please. He's been ill for several days and is experiencing his worst day yet, today. We have a big day scheduled for tomorrow, for which many people are depending on us and we both will need our health to accomplish it. As well, Sam, could use the prayers of the saints especially in the days to come as he is trying to discern our future direction. Stress has been hard to overcome, especially with being ill, and with mounting tasks piling high. We've been able to maintain an overloaded schedule much longer than should be possible, but it soon will be more than we can manage under our own power. Please, please, pray for him and for our family.

Thanks so much!

2007-10-14T17:04:00.000-05:00

Okay, so my ladies group and I are in week five of our study, A Woman's Heart: God's Dwelling Place. Little did I know before beginning the study that I'd be studying the Tabernacle, God's earthly sanctuary and dwelling place among men. But, I am, and WOW!! What a blessing.

Admittedly, prior to now, I've never enjoyed reading about the Tabernacle. Granted, I've always believed there was a purpose to the account of the Tabernacle and to the many chapters in Exodus devoted not only to it's blueprint, but also to it's construction. However, all of the two cubits long, by one cubit wide, by one-and-a-half cubits high have always proven to be a bit dull. I never got it. I certainly didn't see the relevance, nor did I understand the meaning behind every seemingly tedious detail.

I can also hardly believe that this study was the first ever written by Beth Moore. The amount of research, attention to detail, and keen insight into scripture is nothing short of the Holy Spirit divinely working out the will of God through this very gifted teacher. All that to say, after just completing week five out of ten, I can hardly contain my thrill with this architectural masterpiece of God's design. We've begun by studying God's prize creation, man, along with Abraham, with whom God made a covenant to bring forth His chosen people, the Israelites. We've followed their journey from Egypt, a land of captivity, to Canaan, their promised land of milk and honey. We've seen God reveal Himself in unparalleled manifestations through history, their history, and now ours too. Fabulous!!

We all know the story of the Fall of Man with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, and Eve giving in to the serpent's temptation. Well, that didn't turn out the way she thought. We were made by God for the simple art of love, to be in relationship with Him. He made us to love us, and us to love Him back. And, when sin entered the world, it threw us at odds with Him. We, no longer sinless but sinful, could never again enjoy the pleasure of God walking in our midst - Genesis 3:8. Can you imagine being in God's garden, enjoying the full splendor of His glory, hearing His footsteps break the soft ground of brush and leaves as He walks towards you? I can almost hear Him now. The point is, we became separated from God. But He, because He is love, as 1 John 4:16 tells us, still sought us out, and continues to seek us today. He still yearns for our love, and He made a way for us to love Him back, to show our affection and faithfulness toward Him by means of the Tabernacle, His dwelling place among men.

Each and every detail of the Tabernacle had specific meaning, revealed certain glorious attributes of God, and were rich in prophetic symbolism that quite simply astonishes me today. Considering that from the very beginning of time, with even the Fall of Man, God has always had a plan to redeem us. His very presence is magnified in this stunning Tent of Meeting, and to me, the Tabernacle will never again be dull. It will never again be a tedious read, but a spectacular insight into the mind of God, a gift of understanding to us to know how precious each one of us is to Him, and the great lengths He goes to draw us to Himself. He is simply precious to me. A, thrill, a great planner and redeemer of men. Oh, how He loves us.

I will write more in days to come, but please don't wait for me. If any one of you has an interest to know the God of the Ages, our Ancient of Days, this One and Only, please get your hands on this study about the Tabernacle. You will be forever changed by the miraculous, Spirit inspired, transformation of your life and understanding of our sweet and precious God. He is El Elyon and Jehovah Nissi, my God Most High and Banner for life.

Praise Him!